Episode 10 of the Final Season of LOST

SPOILER ALERT!!!!! This blog is all about the tenth episode of LOST in its final season and nothing else.  If you read it, you accept the consequences.  The only one of which that I can think of is that you will have read this.

Ummmmmmm, sooooo.  There’s 6 episodes left, huh?  Of all the things I have boffed in our short time together, this is the one that I am most thrown off by.  Why

Using colored Sharpies now. Look out, world.

did I think there would be only 12 episodes?  The worst part is I don’t understand why there are only 16 episodes in this season.  Aren’t tv seasons usually 22 episodes or is that no longer the case?  How much more is there to explain?  We just have a huge fight left to happen between good and evil and we’re square, right?  There’s a lot of questions in this paragraph.  Wait.  I thought I was supposed to be getting answers.  You win again, LOST.

Another development I didn’t see coming: There was a V in the corner of the screen with a countdown.  Not sure what this has to do with LOST.  I think it might be a numbers thing.  Ya know how everyone had a number earlier.  Maybe they were counting down to the death of #5 but wanted to be more subtle so they used a roman numeral.  It was just way too prominent not to be a critical piece to the LOST puzzle.

Overall What is Happening

Little to no progress this week in finding out what is happening.  We get a glimpse of Jin and Sun as clumsy mobsters.  Plus our old organized crime friend Dr. Teeth shows back up alive and well.  We’re getting set up for a super huge fight.  Which is pretty exciting.  I just hope they make a rule that you can’t punch Jack, Ricardo or Sawyer in the face.

More Detailed Episode Recap

Jin emerges from the TSA back room, and I gotta tell ya, he looks pretty ok for just having gone through a cavity search at the airport.  Jin gets his bag but asks where the cash is.  The TSA guy tells him they’re going to confiscate it. “If you fill out paperwork over there, you can have your money.  There’s the door, leave the airport.”  Not sure but I think that TSA guy just pocketed $25,000 from a confused foreigner.

Jin says he missed a meeting where he was s’posed ta give the money and the watch to a gentleman in a restaurant on behalf of Sun’s papa.  But after getting a Sicilian handshake from the TSA, Jin could use some time off his feet, so they check into a hotel where Jin flips out that they were putting them in the same room.  Once Jin says not married, he is magically checked into another room.  We all know how this is gonna go down.  Why not just save some money and get one room since you know you’re gonna end up together anyway.  Course this is hard to pitch to a female companion, so probably best to just let it happen.

Anyhoosiers, that night, at 11:30 to be exact, Jin says he should go deliver the watch like her father asked him to.  Sun says I have a better idea; come inside my room.  Jin reluctantly agrees and then accuses her of only coming all this way so she could shop.  Sun, offended, begins unbuttoning her shirt. Lesson for the fellas, accusing women of loving shopping = scoring.  The sequence also included the closest close-up on boobs in the history of network television.  Made me wish I had a 3D TV.

The next morning Jin has a look of complete regret (who hasn’t been here).  Sun wakes up and says “Let’s run away together.”  “How could we do that?” It’s pretty simple, Jin.  You just go somewhere and don’t tell anyone that is where you are.  Sun sez she has some money saved up and asks if Jin wants to be with her or not.  Course he does!  She says she has something to tell him but then there is a knock at the door.  Jin goes Three’s Company and hides in the bathroom.  It’s the big toothed mobster from the Ballad of Sayid!  Uh oh.

Toothy Mobster is looking for Mr. Kwan.  He notices that there is an awful lot of champagne laying around for one person.  Rather than assume she is an alcy, he suggests checking the bathroom.  Sidekick opens the bathroom door where Jin is awkwardly posing shirtless.  Guess if you’re going to get found might as well have some fun.  Never one to shy away from misplaced racism, Mr. Pinstripes says he feels like he is in a Godzilla movie after listening to Jin and Sun speak Korean.  He tells Sidekick to go get Danny, who speaks their language (love).  I would think you would bring him in the first place, considering you are trying to track down Koreans.  Also, if you know they are Korean then saying you are in a Godzilla movie doesn’t make sense since those take place in Japan.

After some translation, Mobster is looking for the money.  Sun says she will get the money from her secret account.  In the meantime, they’ll take Jin to the restaurant and make him breakfast.  At the bank, Sun is distraught to learn her secret account was closed.  Turns out her dad closed it down.  Sun wonders why he would do that.  Well, Sun, probably because you were about to go to America with your secret lover.   Not much of a secret account if your dad has access to it.

Meanwhile, Jin gets tied up in a walk in refrigerator.  Here we learn that the money was a fee to kill Jin.  Mobster tells Sidekick to go get the Arab.  Sidekick says “Hey. I’m Arab.”  “Yeah.  I know.  And it wasn’t racist or a slight, I was just trying to give you some detail on who I wanted you to go get. Stop being such a baby.”  Then Sidekick pouts out of the room.  Toothy Mobster finishes tying up Jin. After getting tied up Jin says thank you.  He must be part Canadian.

"Translators" would be an awesome spinoff from Lost.

While hanging out in the meat locker, Jin hears gunshots.  In what appears to be an attempt to get murdered, he starts kicking the door to draw attention to himself.  Sayid enters and looks calm.  He isn’t completely helpful as he was about to leave Jin in the meatlocker.  But after Jin says “free” the same way Ricardo said “I speak English” last week, Sayid hands him a little knife to cut himself out and says good luck.  Thanks Sayid, for being mediocre at helping.

Sun and the Other Translator show up to a room full of shot people.  Of course Toothy Mobster is still alive, which let’s Jin get the jump on Other Translator.  Jin telegraphs the sequence by telling Sun to stand away.  Of course she doesn’t listen.  Fight ensues.  Other Translator gets shot. Sun got shot and says that she is pregnant.  Jin breathes a sigh of relief.

On the island, we start with some deleted footage from One Night in Paris.  Jin finds himself as the sane person in the crazy house and is wrapping his leg.  Sad Day Monster comes over and tells him to let it breathe a little, it will help it heal.  Add Sad Day Monster to the list of people with better medical advice than Jack.  Sad Day Monster says Kwan is a name on the list and he needs all those names to leave the island together so he can leave.  That means that Jin and Sun need to leave together.  They’re on board.

Sayid is still tripping and Sad Day Monster comes by and leaves him in charge.  Sayid says he doesn’t feel anything.  Take another hit.  Maybe the stuff is just weak. He leaves Sayid in charge of the island while he’s gone (terrible idea).  Soon after High Sayid is in charge there is a nerd ambush and everyone gets darted.  The nerds were after Jin all along.

On another part of the island, Team Good Guys is relaxing.  Miles and the Air Captain are playing strip poker (clearly in the early rounds) and Illya says they all have to wait for Ricardo to come back.  Jack has a case of the green eyed monsters and thinks that is a ludicrous idea.  Someone insists that Hurley folowed him and will bring him back.  Miles says “unless he’s covered in bacon grease, Hurley isn’t catching up to him.” (chest bump with Miles). Captain says “Heeeeeeeeey… don’t talk about bacon.”  Even this guy won’t defend Hurley.

Sun falls victim to vintage Sad Day Monster.

Sun gets upset at all the fat jokes and storms off.  Jack follows her to a field.  He asks how the tomatoes are.  Well, Jack, since all you see are weeds I guess we can go ahead and make the leap that they aren’t doing so good.  Then Jack starts pestering Sun by asking her continually if she cares about being a candidate.  She says no and I agree with her.  Now go away, Jack so we can advance the plot some more and not have inane conversations about tomatoes.

Once Jack leaves, Sun cuts herself.  Right then Locke shows up and says “Having a bad day?”.  I figured that is why you showed up, Sad Day Monster.  Now turn into a raincloud and get over Sun (I think I just pitched a Jimmy Dean ad idea).  Sad Day Monster says he has found Jin and will reunite them.  Sun doesn’t believe him.  Sad Day Monster says I would never ask you do anything against your will, so ya know, just agree to it so we can’t get this done.  Sun sez nuts to that and books it into the woods.  He chases after her.  Too bad Sad Day Monster has that backpack, it really slows him down.  What’s in there anyway?  While Sun is looking over her shoulder and thinking the same thing her head goes bonk on a tree and she gets knocked out.  Sad Day Monster apparently thought “to hell with this” and rather than carrying her where he needs her to go, just leaves her be.  Linus finds Sun, who can’t speak English anymore (rolling eyes).

Sad Day Monster gets back to camp and has an uh-oh moment when he sees everyone is darted and sleeping.  He looks around and says “what is this, Jonestown?” but gets no reaction because everyone is still asleep.  He finds Sayid and slaps him awake and asks what happened.  Sayid has been enjoying the buzz from the tranquilizer and isn’t much help.  I tried to warn you that leaving Sayid in charge was a bad idea.

Meanwhile Jin wakes up on the set of Saw.  Whoever captured him forgot to tie him up so just walks around and starts throwing random switches.  Surprisingly throwing the switch in a room full of megaphones and a huge TV screen results in a bad feeling.  Nerd Librarian comes in and tells Jin this room was part of the Dharma initiative.  The Greg initiative is on the other side of the island (hey oooooh!).  Jin says he is leaving and before he get out the words “don’t taze me, bro” he gets tasered.  The Librarian needs to confirm that there are pockets of electromagnetism on the island.  Jin sez if you want me to talk then I want to talk to Charles Whitmore.  She says “good because he wants to talk to you.”  I say “Then why didn’t you just bring him down in the first place?”

Sad Day Monster is having buddy time with Sayid which makes Sawyer totes jealous.  Claire has a case of the saddies too.  She wants to know if she is on the list.  This suddenly turns into the final 5 minutes of an episode of Full House where Sad Day Monster portrays Danny Tanner and tells Stephanie (Claire) that she is special too.  Locke plans on using a boat to go to the other island with Sayid.  Someone asks what he needs a boat for and Sad Day Monster says that if he could just fly off the island, do you think he would still be here?  Sawyer’s response is a very sarcastic, “no that would be ridiculous.”  Right on, Sawyer.  I would have asked why he doesn’t just sail off the island then?

Sun is back with her group and, uh oh, Jack is tending to her.  Miles calls nonsense on Sun forgetting to speak English.  Are these comments in the script or have the actors finally had it with this show?  Anyway, Jack says Sun will be fine, so we can expect her to be dead in the next 45 minutes.  Ricardo shows up and announces to everyone “pack your bags!”  They don’t have bags to pack.  And if they did they should have changed clothes a long time ago because they’re starting to smell like sausage ran a marathon.

Sad Day Monster made it to the other island but has to stay outside the towers.  As is common practice on this island, a bunch of armed nerds jump out of the bushes.  Whitemore comes out and does a terrible job of lying when he says that Jin is not with him.  Sad Day Monster just walks away.

Ricardo’s reappearance spawns oodles of questions from everyone.  Ricardo lets them know that Sad Day Monster is on Hydra Island (who took the time to name it?) where Air Captain landed a plane (at the international airport).  And they’re going to stop them from leaving the island by blowing that plane up.  At this point Sun flips out and makes the very logical argument that she doesn’t care about saving the world, she just wants to go home with Jin.  Of course, it is in Korean so different people react different ways.  Ricardo just stares blankly.  Jack looks around like he is with a crazy girlfriend having a breakdown in the mall making shrugging gestures as if to say “what’s her deal.”  Hurley breaks the tension after her tirade by saying she doesn’t want to come with them.  Atta boy, Hurley.  Way to contribute.

Over in Jinland, Whitmore loses his cool on Nerd Librarian who points out that damnit Jim, she’s a geophysicist not a mercenary.  Whitmore seems uninterested in this distinction and tells her to bring the package from the sub to the infirmary.  I didn’t notice this before but this woman is the only female on the island and she is not entirely unattractive.  She’s like a real life Smurfette.  Jin and Whitmore say what up and fist bump.  Whitmore gives him Sun’s camera which has a bunch of photos of Jin and Sun’s daughter.  Jin has never met her and Whitmore says he has a daughter so he knows what it’s like.  No you don’t, Charles.  Don’t try to relate through a loose connection.  Whitmore then let’s Jin know that if Sad Day Monster leaves the island, everything ceases to be.  “It’s time you see the package.”  “What’s the package?” “It’s not a what. It’s a who.”  “… Ummmmm, I don’t… think I want to see it then…”

Sun is looking out at the ocean at night when Jack prances up.  Sun thinks “son of a b. I hope he doesn’t talk to me.”  Jack launches into a fake story about when he was learning to be a doctor.  He just says a lot of medically sounding things like residency and car crash.  It ends with him handing her a notebook and a pen and saying now you can write what you want to say.  I was really hoping she would write “go away, you’re not a doctor.”  She says she didn’t go with Sad Day Monster because she doesn’t trust him.  Jack asks if she trusts him.  She says yes.  Uh oh.  Jack promises he will help her find Jin.  Then he agrees to it as he agrees to all business deals.  By offering a sandy left hand.

Sawyer is back at camp and admits that if Locke is still alive, they are all boned.  Locke shows up and Sawyer curses.  Way to keep that poker face, chief.  Sad Day Monster says he doesn’t like secrets.  We then see Sayid emerging out of the water at night near the sub.  Two nerds are trying to carry one dude who is heavily sedated and keep dropping him.  Seriously nerds?  Haven’t you seen Weekend at Bernie’s?  Just tie your shoes to his shoes.  Anyway, that guy falls down and makes up close eye contact with Sayid.  Sayid gets jealous of whatever drugs that guy got.  They pick him up and keep moving.  I should probably know who that is, but I don’t.

Thoughts I have

  • That V in the corner was terribly placed.  It blocked Sun’s notebook.  Way to go ABC.
  • I wonder who that dude is.
  • This show has really thrown off my perception of what a human can and cannot survive.
  • Nice bagpipe rendition of Amazing Grace in next week’s preview.
  • We’re in the double digits of episodes.  Big milestone.

    Milestone birthday! I hope I get a bike.


100 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by buzzkillcinema on March 31, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    Happy LOST milestone to you! And I don’t think you were the only one who was ticked off by the V counter.

    Reply

  2. Posted by dude on March 31, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    That guy at the end who you don’t know? He’s awesome.

    Reply

  3. W3rd. Guy at the end is like, super pivotal. And stuff. Pardon me, nerd ambush meeting I gotta get to.

    Love your blog btw!!

    Reply

  4. That big-ass V WAS annoying, wasn’t it??

    Reply

  5. Posted by Mr. Malkin on March 31, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    You’ve seen that guy before. On the first episode of the season, LA X.

    Reply

    • Could be forgiven, though. He appeared for such a short time in LA X it would be hard for a first time viewer to place a face.

      Reply

    • Posted by Tatiana on April 1, 2010 at 12:46 am

      And also… when we saw his face in the last episode, it was so twisted, deformed and dark, that even I – big fan of that guy’s – had a hard time recognizing him. I was thinking it might be him and I wasn’t sure until they said “come on, Mr. Hume”.

      Reply

  6. don’t taze me bro!

    Reply

  7. Posted by Leslie on March 31, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Ha ha. You rock.
    Loved the Star Trek and Weekend at Bernie’s references this week.

    And my fiance agrees about the 3DTV, lol.

    Reply

  8. Posted by Stephanie on March 31, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    I said “don’t taze me bro” too!! this episode was crazy and the blog was super funny, one of the best. On a personal not I loved seeing my favorite Scot at the end and can’t wait until next week!!

    Reply

  9. Posted by Justin Stephen Xavier Smith on March 31, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    That V sucked. I boycott the “V” show now simply because of it.

    Yeah, Desmond (the dude at the end) is the coolest character on the show. I can’t wait for his episode next week.

    I laughed my ass off at “Take another hit. Maybe the stuff is just weak.”

    Reply

    • Posted by Kate on April 1, 2010 at 5:48 pm

      the only reason to watch v was to catch juliet (she’ll always be juliet) say “don’t tell me what i can’t do”…

      Reply

  10. Posted by Meesh on March 31, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    “Sausage ran a marathon.” Excellent!

    I was waiting all day for this blog…I was starting to worry. Loved the drawing with the V.

    Reply

  11. Posted by dj on March 31, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    Yeah, the V ticked me off as well. You GOTTA go back and watch the first 5 seasons to understand how very important “THe Package ” is. You’d never know it by watching this season alone. (Yeah, Des it back!)

    Also, to see how beloved Hurley is.

    Another great recap.

    Reply

    • Posted by JT on April 3, 2010 at 2:09 pm

      Totally agree on Hurley. It’s funny reading someone’s take on things that hasn’t seen it all and thinking your self “huh?”. lol

      Reply

  12. “The Greg initiative is on the other side of the island (hey oooooh!)”

    This has got to be the oldest Lost joke in the book, but I still smiled. And I love how you figured that Sayyid is high. Because he totally is (since that one dude doped him up in Season 5).

    And… oh yeah….

    “It’s time you see the package.” “What’s the package?” “It’s not a what. It’s a who.” “… Ummmmm, I don’t… think I want to see it then…”

    Had me in stitches. 🙂

    Reply

  13. Posted by Phil Mahoney on March 31, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    I think you mean “hears” not “here’s”.

    Reply

  14. Posted by Phil Mahoney on March 31, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    NVM. Carry on.

    Reply

  15. Posted by Phil Mahoney on March 31, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    I think you mean “lets” not “let’s”.

    Reply

  16. Posted by Momo on March 31, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Seriously? Grammar comments? I think your nerd posse is calling.

    On to important things, great blog this week. Really stepped it up from last week. Had me laughing out loud. Keep it up.

    Reply

    • Nothing wrong with correct grammar. I just like that the grammar sheriff 1) corrected the grammar of a sentence without identifying the sentence and 2) let that whole “totes” thing slip by.

      JMP

      Reply

      • Posted by Totes Srs on April 1, 2010 at 7:32 pm

        Well, one would assume that even an annoying grammar Nazi knows that “totes” is slang.

        Reply

    • Posted by watched17times on April 2, 2010 at 7:18 pm

      So weird, cuz last week I laughed so hard that no sound came out. This week I had hardly a chuckle. I guess it’s all in how much you like each episode. I hated this episode. This is the first time I have ever said that. (except for the Nikki and Paulo one) The Sun and Jin sideways story sucked. Sorry

      Keep up the good work, blogger. You are only as good as the material you have to work with, right?

      Reply

      • Posted by JT on April 3, 2010 at 2:11 pm

        Yep…I’m always a little bored with the Sun and Jin stories and this one was not very good at all.

        Reply

  17. Posted by Momo on March 31, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Oh! And GO DES! Love that dude. “Amen, Brother!”

    Reply

  18. Posted by April on March 31, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    When Sun agreed that she would trust Jack I totally thought of what you would say to that and shouted “Why?!” at the screen.

    Reply

  19. Posted by Charles on March 31, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    LoVe, loVe, loVe, your recaps. I especially enjoy all your fist bumps and chest bumps. It seems like the worse the episode the funnier your recaps. Hope you are enjoying eVery episode to the end and will watch the rest of the series. Keep up the funny stuff. V

    Reply

  20. Posted by the Simpleman on March 31, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Props to Full House moments!

    Still lovin’ your recaps…

    Reply

  21. Posted by Daniel on March 31, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    As far as the number of episodes this season is concerned, my understanding is that there are 6 episodes before the series finale, which should be a two-parter, resulting in a total of 18 episodes. This number seems to be fairly consistent, give or take two or so, with most other shows this season, and I think the Olympics had a part to play in that. Either that, or broadcasting companies are trying to torture us more and more by reducing the number of episodes per season.

    Reply

    • Posted by Jay Cagey on March 31, 2010 at 6:21 pm

      From what I understand, while making season 3 the producers started negotiating with ABC to set an end date for the Lost. They ended up agreeing to do 48 more episodes. Rather than air two seasons of 24 episodes, ABC decided to milk it a bit and go for three seasons of 16 episodes.

      Networks like to use their popular shows to launch new shows – you put the new show on after the popular one and hope a large percentage of the audience will stick around and like what they see. Going with three more seasons of Lost gave ABC three chances to piggyback new shows.

      The Olympics only affected the timing of when they started broadcasting season 6 since they knew years ago it would only have 16 episodes. Though season 4 got cut short (only 13 episodes) because of the writers strike.

      On a less boring note – I’m starting to look forward more to reading these recaps than in seeing the actual episodes! Oh, and a big thumbs down to ABC for their V graffiti.

      Reply

  22. Posted by KellyT on March 31, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    Anytime Weekend at Bernie’s can be referenced should be considered a Gen X Coup. Nice work. 🙂

    Reply

  23. Posted by dgrant on March 31, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    Nerd Librarian needs…a hair brush, a damp rag, and maybe a new shirt, and get those glasses on straight when you taze a dude, so maybe that is HER evil plan, be the only woman on the island…but no, she is surrounded by nerds, so WTF. Nice shots of Jin topless, he shows off those Korean guns in every episode, nice to see the rest is buff as well. I nominate him for no in the face beatdown as well (look what happened to the tooth fairy henchman who head whacked him). Was I the only one who thought there were WAY more commercials last night, like every five minutes?? In the old days they used to throw in commercials for Agira Airways, etc, so I am set up for disappointment when its the ordinary crap coffee and so on – why not a Dharma beer ad, something…..

    Reply

    • Posted by Lindsay Rapp on March 31, 2010 at 6:37 pm

      I have always thought they had too many commercials during the show…I wonder how long the actual show runs compared to other 1 hours shows…And, yes, I was drooling over Jin the whole hour. It really wouldn’t matter if he got punched in the face or not. LOVE the guns.

      Reply

      • Posted by mamalovesherguns on March 31, 2010 at 11:35 pm

        Know where you are coming from Linsday -I love Jins “guns” too. And Jack’s, Sawyer’s, Ricardo’s, even Ben’s … If the guys get to see Sun’s boobies up all big and close up like, the least they can do for the ladies is to give us a few close-ups of “guns”. Fair is fair.

        To answer your question, Lost runs the same number of minutes as any other “hour” long American network TV show which is to say about 42 minutes. I download episodes online (which don’t have commercials) and they are the same length (give or take a minute) of other network shows. Lost is written in five acts so commercials are distributed over 4 breaks with an additional break after the short introduction. Each act is the same length. Next week get out your stopwatch (you will find one on your telephone) and time the acts and breaks. Then come back here and report your findings and conclusions.

        Back when I was a whippersnapper we got 51 minutes out of our hour with only four acts and no break after the intro. Take that gen X and you snot nose millennials.

        Speaking of commercials where was that attractive Old Spice commercial this week?

        Reply

  24. […] Episode 10 of the Final Season of LOST SPOILER ALERT!!!!! This blog is all about the tenth episode of LOST in its final season and nothing else.  If you read […] […]

    Reply

  25. Posted by oldfarmer on March 31, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    I need to read your Lost blog in portions because it’s so painfully funny. Thanks, man.

    Reply

  26. Posted by Aly on March 31, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    “damnit Jim, she’s a geophysicist not a mercenary”

    Niiiiiice reference there 🙂

    Reply

  27. Posted by just saying on March 31, 2010 at 7:45 pm

    Calling you out in a good way for:
    – “Jin goes Three’s Company”
    – “Jack looks around like he is with a crazy girlfriend having a breakdown in the mall making shrugging gestures as if to say “what’s her deal.”
    – “He just says a lot of medically sounding things like residency and car crash.”

    Reply

  28. Posted by Jamie on March 31, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    marry me 😉

    Reply

  29. Posted by Sethimus on March 31, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Excellent blog this week. Had a lot of funny observations that had me rolling.

    I’m gonna miss all this Lost nonsense when it’s all said and done.

    Reply

  30. Posted by Luke on March 31, 2010 at 8:40 pm

    Yeah that V was horribly placed, why the hell did V have a break for 4 months only 4 episodes into their first season anyway? Flashforward had a massive break too, what happened to the times when you could just watch a season for 20 odd weeks with barely any breaks? At least Lost is more reliable.

    Let’s face it, V is failing already, after the second episode the viewing figures dropped a few million to 10.7 million, roughly the same of what Lost is getting 6 seasons in. Come back Elizabeth Mitchell!

    Reply

  31. Posted by Kristi on March 31, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    “I just hope they make a rule that you can’t punch Jack, Ricardo or Sawyer in the face.”

    Wiser words have never been spoken. A rule wholeheartedly endorsed by the female (and gay male) LOST fanbase 🙂

    Reply

  32. Posted by Kristi on March 31, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    PS- the line “Soon after High Sayid is in charge there is a nerd ambush and everyone gets darted.” made me giggle repeatedly.

    Reply

  33. Posted by Erin on March 31, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    Amazing Blog. Made me laugh out loud, a lot. Keep up the good work. 🙂

    Reply

  34. I’m a little concerned about the use of “Other Translator” to describe Mikhail… but, oh well.

    I do not want to ever see a game of strip poker between Miles and the Air Captain. Get Ilana to join, and then we’ll talk.

    And the talk about Keamy’s real and perceived racism, before stating that Jin “must be part Canadian” was very subtle and well-played.

    Reply

    • Posted by DS on April 1, 2010 at 2:18 pm

      What, you don’t get it? “Lennon” was the first translator, so that makes Mikhail #2. Easy-peasy.

      Reply

  35. Posted by Gil on April 1, 2010 at 12:01 am

    LOVE the blog. Best entry in a while.

    Best Line of the Blog: “The Greg initiative is on the other side of the island” had me in stitches. I never made the connection before, so it really had me laughing a lot.

    2nd Best Line: “damnit Jim, she’s a geophysicist not a mercenary” had me laughing loudly too.

    Loved the “Full House” and “One Night in Paris” references. I’ve watched every episode of every season and I have no idea what that “One Night in Paris” stuff (that film footage of Kate with the green background) was about. Frankly, I think it was an editing mistake, but then again…this is Lost we’re talking about. The “scene” only lasted about 10 seconds and there was no dialogue and no connection to anything else in the episode either, so it’s definitely a head scratcher — and not the good kind.

    Keep up the awesomeness!

    Reply

    • @Gil – The “scene” was in night-vision. It was a view from one of Widmore’s people (Zoe and Seamus and the other “nerds”) who were in hiding and later tranquilized the entire group (and kidnapped Jin). They show them wearing night-vision goggles and everything. Obviously, they didn’t want to do anything with the Smoke Monster around.

      Reply

    • Posted by Smidty on April 1, 2010 at 4:10 pm

      What is The Greg Initiative? Is that a reference to another show?

      Reply

      • Posted by Arione on April 1, 2010 at 9:16 pm

        It’s a reference to a tv show named Dharma and Greg that ran from ’97-’02. Dharma is a flower child with hippie parents. She met Greg, a lawyer and they got married on their first date.

        Reply

  36. Posted by Sad Day Monster on April 1, 2010 at 1:38 am

    >> Miles calls nonsense on Sun forgetting to speak English. Are these comments in the script or have the actors finally had it with this show?

    F’n LOL! so true.

    Reply

    • Posted by elsie on April 2, 2010 at 8:40 am

      HEY WAIT, this is a real phenomenon, absolutely medically possible and not even all that rare. The blow was to the wrong place on her head, but for TV that’s way above average for accuracy.

      In fact, it was the only realistic incident in the whole episode 🙂

      Reply

      • Posted by ipapyrus on April 4, 2010 at 10:42 am

        What, you don’t think a plank can split up and land softly on an uncharted Island that travels through time and is inhabited by a guy who can take other people’s forms and turn into a pillar of statically charged black smoke?!?! 🙂

        Reply

  37. Posted by JimC on April 1, 2010 at 1:41 am

    Sun may have an ass flatter than Mark Wahlberg’s acting abilities… but goddamn, this episode made her look like she had the sweetest boobs ever.

    Reply

  38. Posted by RedStripe on April 1, 2010 at 1:47 am

    Hilarious recap, I think the funniest one since the Substitute and Lighthouse recaps. I especially liked the “Don’t tase me bro” and how you characterized Sayid’ state of being… ending with “jealous of whatever drugs that guy got”. Brilliantly funny, and the expressions on their faces so play into that. Keep up the great work.

    Reply

  39. Posted by Red on April 1, 2010 at 5:55 am

    “Sun got shot and says that she is pregnant. Jin breathes a sigh of relief.”

    Hilarious.

    Reply

  40. Posted by Belica on April 1, 2010 at 6:44 am

    Speaking of V… I’ve been reviewing the show (the original one, from the 80’s) lately, and while I did it, I could’t stop thinking about this blog. I kept imaging what would you say about Diana’s impossible hair style, the vintage FX’s, and the nonsense whole plot.
    Just an idea, if you have the time and the will after your Lost experience is finished, of course.

    Reply

  41. Posted by LostAli75 (rugbygrl) on April 1, 2010 at 8:01 am

    ‘don’t taze me bro!’ and Weekend at Bernie’s were fantastical references!!!!

    our man Desmond – this is going to get SO interesting.

    very thankful for my giant ass TV hubby bought so that stupid V wasn’t entirely in my view

    dude – those boobs were too plump to belong to Sun – she’s just not that chesty (boob stand in)

    Reply

    • Posted by Arione on April 1, 2010 at 10:24 pm

      You mean those Victoria Secret push up bras don’t work like that? Crap I just blew last week’s paycheck on them~hoping it would change my boob profile that much as well!

      Reply

  42. Posted by Kyle on April 1, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    when Des looked at Sayid in the end I was expecting him to say “Brotha?” (scottish accent)

    Reply

  43. Posted by Kyle on April 1, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Miles says “unless he’s covered in bacon grease, Hurley isn’t catching up to him.” (chest bump with Miles). Captain says “Heeeeeeeeey… don’t talk about bacon.” Even this guy won’t defend Hurley.

    that had me ROLLING!! every week there’s a fat joke about Hurley and its hilarious how you call those out

    Reply

  44. Posted by Beema on April 1, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    awesome recap as usual!
    the stuff about Sayid being stoned was pretty funny.
    Everyone hating on the stupid V countdown timer is great. That was so obnoxious. Good to see it’s equally irritating to everyone across the board.

    Reply

  45. Posted by T on April 1, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    I loved the Bernie’s and Full House references!

    Also, anyoone know why he thinks Jack is an awful doctor? It’s funny but I don’t remember him doing any doctory stuff this season.

    Reply

  46. Posted by Monique on April 1, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    death to the fucknut who decided it was a good idea to put a big V in the corner of the screen.

    Reply

    • Posted by DS on April 1, 2010 at 2:24 pm

      Yeah. ABC is obviously desperate. Serves ’em right for cancelling potentially good shows before they ever get off the ground. “The Unusuals” comes to mind. I really liked that show…all 4 episodes?

      Reply

  47. Posted by JimC on April 1, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    Yeah, the fat jokes on LOST are always a highlight.

    Especially in the early days when Sawyer would constantly be coming up with new was to insult Hurley, calling him things like ‘Krispy Creme’ and ‘Stay-Puft’.

    Reply

    • Posted by DS on April 1, 2010 at 2:29 pm

      It IS rather puzzling…why Hurley can’t lose any weight, being that he IS on a largely uninhabited island. Plus, getting all that exercise running from one end to the other. You’d think he’d drop at least a FEW pounds.

      Ah, well…maybe ANOTHER Lost mystery that will be revealed in the final episode!

      Reply

  48. Posted by Diana on April 1, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    Loved the “what is this Jonestown” and Jin wakes up on the set of Saw. I was laughing so hard the tears were falling down my face. You are just too funny.

    Reply

  49. Posted by Holmes on April 1, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    You mentioned that Jin wakes up on the set of SAW in your review. Did you realize that the actors who play Ben and Miles are both in that movie?

    Reply

    • No. I didn’t. Which ones and which characters? I love the Saw movies.

      Reply

      • Posted by Sophie on June 7, 2010 at 8:05 am

        The awesome Michael Emerson (Benjamin) plays the awesome Zep Hindle.

        Ken Leung (Miles) is the detective whose head gets blown off (LOL)!

        Both in the original SAW!
        😀

        Reply

  50. Posted by Not Criminal Minds? on April 1, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    “Nerd Librarian comes in and tells Jin this room was part of the Dharma initiative. The Greg initiative is on the other side of the island”

    Dying ahahahaha

    Reply

  51. Posted by Confu-Zed on April 1, 2010 at 11:53 pm

    Toothy Mobster finishes tying up Jin. After getting tied up Jin says thank you. He must be part Canadian.

    ROFLMBO!!! This Canadian laffed her tushie off. Great fun! Keep up the great work. I look forward to this as much as to the show itself. 🙂

    Reply

  52. Posted by Confu-Zed on April 1, 2010 at 11:57 pm

    ETA:
    Best Line: “damnit Jim, she’s a geophysicist not a mercenary” had me in stitches. Hilarious!!!!!

    Reply

  53. Posted by Carla on April 2, 2010 at 1:45 am

    So funny. Brilliant to read through the eyes of Lost virginity the sheer insanity of this show we all worship!

    Reply

    • Posted by Carla on April 2, 2010 at 1:48 am

      Can someone tell me how to put my own pic up on this site instead of using the geometric icons?

      Reply

  54. Posted by culwin on April 2, 2010 at 1:56 am

    LETS.
    Not “LET’S”.
    NO APOSTROPHE
    DAMN.
    IT.
    LETS.

    Reply

  55. Posted by Zapp Branninigan on April 2, 2010 at 7:34 am

    Stop hating on V! It wasn’t was V’s fault, you want to blame someone, blame the ABC Promotions Department, “That V sucked. I boycott the “V” show now simply because of it.” wrote Justin up near the top…

    Your boycotting V simply because of THAT? That’s ridiculous and your missing a great show, that will probably end up being cancelled, and replaced with YET another reality show, since ABC “Brilliantly” pulled it after 4 episodes in November and waits until March to bring it back.

    I’m a Lost fan, but quit complaining about the V sign, or choosing to boycott V because ABC did something annoying. If your not going to watch V, do it because it doesn’t interest you, or you caught the show and didn’t like it. V Rules!

    I laughed my ass off at “Take another hit. Maybe the stuff is just weak.”

    Reply

    Reply

  56. The Package has arrived, and I can’t wait to see him wet.

    Reply

  57. Posted by troismommy on April 2, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    THis made me lol very hard:

    Sad Day Monster is having buddy time with Sayid which makes Sawyer totes jealous. Claire has a case of the saddies too. She wants to know if she is on the list. This suddenly turns into the final 5 minutes of an episode of Full House where Sad Day Monster portrays Danny Tanner and tells Stephanie (Claire) that she is special too.

    I have to ask why you hate Jack. Is it because he’s the MIchael Jordan of being handsome? ; ) Give Jack a chance!

    I look forward to you getting to know who the drugged up guy was at the end. He’s awesome!

    Reply

  58. My choicest chuckle was “He tells Sidekick to go get Danny, who speaks their language (love).”

    Reply

  59. Posted by Kerry on April 5, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    ‘Nerd Ambush’ I think you may have coined a new phrase! LOVE IT!

    Reply

  60. Posted by kid entropia on April 5, 2010 at 10:29 pm

    Hahahaha. Between yours and Ack´s recaps, watching Lost is an absolutely richer experience! Way to go. And, oh, yes, the dude at the end is essential to life, the universe, and everything!

    Reply

  61. ‘Nerd Ambush’…that would be an awesome band name! Best part of this re-cap: Frank being more upset over the mention of bacon than the dissing of Hurley. I hope in an alternate timeline there is a plane crash, and Hurley has to eat everyone to survive. Serves them right!

    Reply

  62. Posted by Missjoke on April 7, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    “He tells Sidekick to go get Danny, who speaks their language (love)”

    “After getting tied up Jin says thank you. He must be part Canadian.”

    “This suddenly turns into the final 5 minutes of an episode of Full House where Sad Day Monster portrays Danny Tanner and tells Stephanie (Claire) that she is special too.” LMAO!!!!

    Reply

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