SPOILER ALERT!!!!! This blog is all about the tenth episode of LOST in its final season and nothing else. If you read it, you accept the consequences. The only one of which that I can think of is that you will have read this.
Ummmmmmm, sooooo. There’s 6 episodes left, huh? Of all the things I have boffed in our short time together, this is the one that I am most thrown off by. Why
did I think there would be only 12 episodes? The worst part is I don’t understand why there are only 16 episodes in this season. Aren’t tv seasons usually 22 episodes or is that no longer the case? How much more is there to explain? We just have a huge fight left to happen between good and evil and we’re square, right? There’s a lot of questions in this paragraph. Wait. I thought I was supposed to be getting answers. You win again, LOST.
Another development I didn’t see coming: There was a V in the corner of the screen with a countdown. Not sure what this has to do with LOST. I think it might be a numbers thing. Ya know how everyone had a number earlier. Maybe they were counting down to the death of #5 but wanted to be more subtle so they used a roman numeral. It was just way too prominent not to be a critical piece to the LOST puzzle.
Overall What is Happening
Little to no progress this week in finding out what is happening. We get a glimpse of Jin and Sun as clumsy mobsters. Plus our old organized crime friend Dr. Teeth shows back up alive and well. We’re getting set up for a super huge fight. Which is pretty exciting. I just hope they make a rule that you can’t punch Jack, Ricardo or Sawyer in the face.
More Detailed Episode Recap
Jin emerges from the TSA back room, and I gotta tell ya, he looks pretty ok for just having gone through a cavity search at the airport. Jin gets his bag but asks where the cash is. The TSA guy tells him they’re going to confiscate it. “If you fill out paperwork over there, you can have your money. There’s the door, leave the airport.” Not sure but I think that TSA guy just pocketed $25,000 from a confused foreigner.
Jin says he missed a meeting where he was s’posed ta give the money and the watch to a gentleman in a restaurant on behalf of Sun’s papa. But after getting a Sicilian handshake from the TSA, Jin could use some time off his feet, so they check into a hotel where Jin flips out that they were putting them in the same room. Once Jin says not married, he is magically checked into another room. We all know how this is gonna go down. Why not just save some money and get one room since you know you’re gonna end up together anyway. Course this is hard to pitch to a female companion, so probably best to just let it happen.
Anyhoosiers, that night, at 11:30 to be exact, Jin says he should go deliver the watch like her father asked him to. Sun says I have a better idea; come inside my room. Jin reluctantly agrees and then accuses her of only coming all this way so she could shop. Sun, offended, begins unbuttoning her shirt. Lesson for the fellas, accusing women of loving shopping = scoring. The sequence also included the closest close-up on boobs in the history of network television. Made me wish I had a 3D TV.
The next morning Jin has a look of complete regret (who hasn’t been here). Sun wakes up and says “Let’s run away together.” “How could we do that?” It’s pretty simple, Jin. You just go somewhere and don’t tell anyone that is where you are. Sun sez she has some money saved up and asks if Jin wants to be with her or not. Course he does! She says she has something to tell him but then there is a knock at the door. Jin goes Three’s Company and hides in the bathroom. It’s the big toothed mobster from the Ballad of Sayid! Uh oh.
Toothy Mobster is looking for Mr. Kwan. He notices that there is an awful lot of champagne laying around for one person. Rather than assume she is an alcy, he suggests checking the bathroom. Sidekick opens the bathroom door where Jin is awkwardly posing shirtless. Guess if you’re going to get found might as well have some fun. Never one to shy away from misplaced racism, Mr. Pinstripes says he feels like he is in a Godzilla movie after listening to Jin and Sun speak Korean. He tells Sidekick to go get Danny, who speaks their language (love). I would think you would bring him in the first place, considering you are trying to track down Koreans. Also, if you know they are Korean then saying you are in a Godzilla movie doesn’t make sense since those take place in Japan.
After some translation, Mobster is looking for the money. Sun says she will get the money from her secret account. In the meantime, they’ll take Jin to the restaurant and make him breakfast. At the bank, Sun is distraught to learn her secret account was closed. Turns out her dad closed it down. Sun wonders why he would do that. Well, Sun, probably because you were about to go to America with your secret lover. Not much of a secret account if your dad has access to it.
Meanwhile, Jin gets tied up in a walk in refrigerator. Here we learn that the money was a fee to kill Jin. Mobster tells Sidekick to go get the Arab. Sidekick says “Hey. I’m Arab.” “Yeah. I know. And it wasn’t racist or a slight, I was just trying to give you some detail on who I wanted you to go get. Stop being such a baby.” Then Sidekick pouts out of the room. Toothy Mobster finishes tying up Jin. After getting tied up Jin says thank you. He must be part Canadian.
While hanging out in the meat locker, Jin hears gunshots. In what appears to be an attempt to get murdered, he starts kicking the door to draw attention to himself. Sayid enters and looks calm. He isn’t completely helpful as he was about to leave Jin in the meatlocker. But after Jin says “free” the same way Ricardo said “I speak English” last week, Sayid hands him a little knife to cut himself out and says good luck. Thanks Sayid, for being mediocre at helping.
Sun and the Other Translator show up to a room full of shot people. Of course Toothy Mobster is still alive, which let’s Jin get the jump on Other Translator. Jin telegraphs the sequence by telling Sun to stand away. Of course she doesn’t listen. Fight ensues. Other Translator gets shot. Sun got shot and says that she is pregnant. Jin breathes a sigh of relief.
On the island, we start with some deleted footage from One Night in Paris. Jin finds himself as the sane person in the crazy house and is wrapping his leg. Sad Day Monster comes over and tells him to let it breathe a little, it will help it heal. Add Sad Day Monster to the list of people with better medical advice than Jack. Sad Day Monster says Kwan is a name on the list and he needs all those names to leave the island together so he can leave. That means that Jin and Sun need to leave together. They’re on board.
Sayid is still tripping and Sad Day Monster comes by and leaves him in charge. Sayid says he doesn’t feel anything. Take another hit. Maybe the stuff is just weak. He leaves Sayid in charge of the island while he’s gone (terrible idea). Soon after High Sayid is in charge there is a nerd ambush and everyone gets darted. The nerds were after Jin all along.
On another part of the island, Team Good Guys is relaxing. Miles and the Air Captain are playing strip poker (clearly in the early rounds) and Illya says they all have to wait for Ricardo to come back. Jack has a case of the green eyed monsters and thinks that is a ludicrous idea. Someone insists that Hurley folowed him and will bring him back. Miles says “unless he’s covered in bacon grease, Hurley isn’t catching up to him.” (chest bump with Miles). Captain says “Heeeeeeeeey… don’t talk about bacon.” Even this guy won’t defend Hurley.
Sun gets upset at all the fat jokes and storms off. Jack follows her to a field. He asks how the tomatoes are. Well, Jack, since all you see are weeds I guess we can go ahead and make the leap that they aren’t doing so good. Then Jack starts pestering Sun by asking her continually if she cares about being a candidate. She says no and I agree with her. Now go away, Jack so we can advance the plot some more and not have inane conversations about tomatoes.
Once Jack leaves, Sun cuts herself. Right then Locke shows up and says “Having a bad day?”. I figured that is why you showed up, Sad Day Monster. Now turn into a raincloud and get over Sun (I think I just pitched a Jimmy Dean ad idea). Sad Day Monster says he has found Jin and will reunite them. Sun doesn’t believe him. Sad Day Monster says I would never ask you do anything against your will, so ya know, just agree to it so we can’t get this done. Sun sez nuts to that and books it into the woods. He chases after her. Too bad Sad Day Monster has that backpack, it really slows him down. What’s in there anyway? While Sun is looking over her shoulder and thinking the same thing her head goes bonk on a tree and she gets knocked out. Sad Day Monster apparently thought “to hell with this” and rather than carrying her where he needs her to go, just leaves her be. Linus finds Sun, who can’t speak English anymore (rolling eyes).
Sad Day Monster gets back to camp and has an uh-oh moment when he sees everyone is darted and sleeping. He looks around and says “what is this, Jonestown?” but gets no reaction because everyone is still asleep. He finds Sayid and slaps him awake and asks what happened. Sayid has been enjoying the buzz from the tranquilizer and isn’t much help. I tried to warn you that leaving Sayid in charge was a bad idea.
Meanwhile Jin wakes up on the set of Saw. Whoever captured him forgot to tie him up so just walks around and starts throwing random switches. Surprisingly throwing the switch in a room full of megaphones and a huge TV screen results in a bad feeling. Nerd Librarian comes in and tells Jin this room was part of the Dharma initiative. The Greg initiative is on the other side of the island (hey oooooh!). Jin says he is leaving and before he get out the words “don’t taze me, bro” he gets tasered. The Librarian needs to confirm that there are pockets of electromagnetism on the island. Jin sez if you want me to talk then I want to talk to Charles Whitmore. She says “good because he wants to talk to you.” I say “Then why didn’t you just bring him down in the first place?”
Sad Day Monster is having buddy time with Sayid which makes Sawyer totes jealous. Claire has a case of the saddies too. She wants to know if she is on the list. This suddenly turns into the final 5 minutes of an episode of Full House where Sad Day Monster portrays Danny Tanner and tells Stephanie (Claire) that she is special too. Locke plans on using a boat to go to the other island with Sayid. Someone asks what he needs a boat for and Sad Day Monster says that if he could just fly off the island, do you think he would still be here? Sawyer’s response is a very sarcastic, “no that would be ridiculous.” Right on, Sawyer. I would have asked why he doesn’t just sail off the island then?
Sun is back with her group and, uh oh, Jack is tending to her. Miles calls nonsense on Sun forgetting to speak English. Are these comments in the script or have the actors finally had it with this show? Anyway, Jack says Sun will be fine, so we can expect her to be dead in the next 45 minutes. Ricardo shows up and announces to everyone “pack your bags!” They don’t have bags to pack. And if they did they should have changed clothes a long time ago because they’re starting to smell like sausage ran a marathon.
Sad Day Monster made it to the other island but has to stay outside the towers. As is common practice on this island, a bunch of armed nerds jump out of the bushes. Whitemore comes out and does a terrible job of lying when he says that Jin is not with him. Sad Day Monster just walks away.
Ricardo’s reappearance spawns oodles of questions from everyone. Ricardo lets them know that Sad Day Monster is on Hydra Island (who took the time to name it?) where Air Captain landed a plane (at the international airport). And they’re going to stop them from leaving the island by blowing that plane up. At this point Sun flips out and makes the very logical argument that she doesn’t care about saving the world, she just wants to go home with Jin. Of course, it is in Korean so different people react different ways. Ricardo just stares blankly. Jack looks around like he is with a crazy girlfriend having a breakdown in the mall making shrugging gestures as if to say “what’s her deal.” Hurley breaks the tension after her tirade by saying she doesn’t want to come with them. Atta boy, Hurley. Way to contribute.
Over in Jinland, Whitmore loses his cool on Nerd Librarian who points out that damnit Jim, she’s a geophysicist not a mercenary. Whitmore seems uninterested in this distinction and tells her to bring the package from the sub to the infirmary. I didn’t notice this before but this woman is the only female on the island and she is not entirely unattractive. She’s like a real life Smurfette. Jin and Whitmore say what up and fist bump. Whitmore gives him Sun’s camera which has a bunch of photos of Jin and Sun’s daughter. Jin has never met her and Whitmore says he has a daughter so he knows what it’s like. No you don’t, Charles. Don’t try to relate through a loose connection. Whitmore then let’s Jin know that if Sad Day Monster leaves the island, everything ceases to be. “It’s time you see the package.” “What’s the package?” “It’s not a what. It’s a who.” “… Ummmmm, I don’t… think I want to see it then…”
Sun is looking out at the ocean at night when Jack prances up. Sun thinks “son of a b. I hope he doesn’t talk to me.” Jack launches into a fake story about when he was learning to be a doctor. He just says a lot of medically sounding things like residency and car crash. It ends with him handing her a notebook and a pen and saying now you can write what you want to say. I was really hoping she would write “go away, you’re not a doctor.” She says she didn’t go with Sad Day Monster because she doesn’t trust him. Jack asks if she trusts him. She says yes. Uh oh. Jack promises he will help her find Jin. Then he agrees to it as he agrees to all business deals. By offering a sandy left hand.
Sawyer is back at camp and admits that if Locke is still alive, they are all boned. Locke shows up and Sawyer curses. Way to keep that poker face, chief. Sad Day Monster says he doesn’t like secrets. We then see Sayid emerging out of the water at night near the sub. Two nerds are trying to carry one dude who is heavily sedated and keep dropping him. Seriously nerds? Haven’t you seen Weekend at Bernie’s? Just tie your shoes to his shoes. Anyway, that guy falls down and makes up close eye contact with Sayid. Sayid gets jealous of whatever drugs that guy got. They pick him up and keep moving. I should probably know who that is, but I don’t.
Thoughts I have
- That V in the corner was terribly placed. It blocked Sun’s notebook. Way to go ABC.
- I wonder who that dude is.
- This show has really thrown off my perception of what a human can and cannot survive.
- Nice bagpipe rendition of Amazing Grace in next week’s preview.
- We’re in the double digits of episodes. Big milestone.