Episode 12 of the Final Season of LOST

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!! This is a blog about another episode of LOST where nothing happens for 45 minutes then we get teased to tune in next week.  If you haven’t seen this week’s episode, then you should wait to watch it before reading all the different ways the LOST writers and I team up to disparage Hurley.

Everyone is ganging up on Hurley.

Side note. I was in high school when the last episode of Seinfeld aired.  For those unfamiliar with the show, one of the big gags of that final episode was having a cavalcade of past residual characters make appearances.  It was immensely rewarding for people who had loyally watched the show through its entirety.  The next day I was talking about the episode with a couple people (as you can surmise, I was very cool in high school) and one of the people said it was dumb and stupid and not funny and the worst thing he had ever seen (paraphrasing).  We didn’t love the episode, but we certainly didn’t have the same vitriolic reaction that he did.  Then someone asked if he had ever seen Seinfeld before.  He said no.  Mystery solved.  He just didn’t get the point.

Why did I write that really boring paragraph with lots of obscure words?  Because I realized I am that guy who had never seen an episode of Seinfeld but watched the finale.  When old characters come back I have no connection to them, I just judge based on what I see.  I think it finally dawned on me in this episode because it there were a couple characters from past seasons that would make a Lostie squee with delight.  But I just want to see someone fight or blow up.  Lucky for me, I got one of my wishes.

Oh, and this episode is about Hurley.  Which means that the writers on LOST and I will get a lot of stored up comments about his weight out of our system.  If you get offended, don’t shoot the messenger, the show makes more fun of him than I do.  I’m just more blatant about it. Continue reading


Episode 11 of the Final Season of LOST

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!! Yet again we will be exploring the latest episode of LOST for super secret secrets.  Like what the show is REALLY about.  I mean it this time.  I’m sure they won’t change it again.  Right? Sigh.

Love as depicted by this episode of Lost.

My plan was to go do some internet snooping and sound all smart as I explain what multiple universe theories are and how they are related, but then I got really confused by the Wikipedia entry and gave up.  I can’t imagine anything as intellectually degrading as being confused by Wikipedia.  Frown.

I’m also a little nervous that last week a guy got pulled out of a submarine and this week we got a whole episode dedicated to him.  If each of these characters is getting their own storyline, then we have a long way to go before getting to the end of the series.  Thankfully (for many reasons), we stopped dedicating every other episode to Jack.  Thankfully we have one storyline to follow this time.  Unthankfully the theme of this episode was love.  And not the good, passionate kind of love that Ricardo treated us to.  This was the love at first sight, everything is sunshine and lollipops, I’m gonna marry that cute boy/girl/class pet that I met in jr high kind of love.  Gross. Continue reading

Episode 10 of the Final Season of LOST

SPOILER ALERT!!!!! This blog is all about the tenth episode of LOST in its final season and nothing else.  If you read it, you accept the consequences.  The only one of which that I can think of is that you will have read this.

Ummmmmmm, sooooo.  There’s 6 episodes left, huh?  Of all the things I have boffed in our short time together, this is the one that I am most thrown off by.  Why

Using colored Sharpies now. Look out, world.

did I think there would be only 12 episodes?  The worst part is I don’t understand why there are only 16 episodes in this season.  Aren’t tv seasons usually 22 episodes or is that no longer the case?  How much more is there to explain?  We just have a huge fight left to happen between good and evil and we’re square, right?  There’s a lot of questions in this paragraph.  Wait.  I thought I was supposed to be getting answers.  You win again, LOST.

Another development I didn’t see coming: There was a V in the corner of the screen with a countdown.  Not sure what this has to do with LOST.  I think it might be a numbers thing.  Ya know how everyone had a number earlier.  Maybe they were counting down to the death of #5 but wanted to be more subtle so they used a roman numeral.  It was just way too prominent not to be a critical piece to the LOST puzzle. Continue reading

Episode 9 of the Final Season of LOST

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!  If you have not seen the latest episode of Lost you are all at once missing out and missing nothing.  And you should not read this until you check that thing out because I am going to talk about it. That’s the point of this webternet site.

With a cover like that, how can you not read "Amor en la Isla de la Meurta".

I tell you what.  This is my favorite episode so far.  One plot line.  Not a lot happening.  Veeeery straightforward.  Sign me up for more of these.  Now, of course, the downside is since we didn’t get much done this hour we’re in for more ultra plot packed episodes in the future.  Sigh.

While we’re fist bumping the writers, they had a real nice recovery from last week’s misogyny episode.  This episode was clearly for the ladies.  It was like reading a Harlequin romance novel that had all the intimate parts edited out so it could be put in the school library.  Plus, no women were harmed in the making of this episode.  Good work, fellas. Unless this was a work of fan fiction.  Which I’m not entirely convinced it was not.  Eesh, that was a lot of negatives.

I’m gonna call Richard by the name he deserves, Ricardo.  Seems more fitting.  So without further ado, Ricardo’s episode; entitled, Amor en la Isla de la Muerta. Continue reading

Episode 8 of the Final Season of LOST

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!  Read this if and only if you have seen the latest episode of Lost.  I’m going to reveal more secrets about the show.  I have exclusive behind the scenes knowledge of the series and where it is going.  Not really, I was just trying to get you to click the continue reading button.  I’m sowwy for lying to you.  Although lying seems to be one of the themes of this episode (see what I did there).

This was supposed to be an emo kid. But I think I just drew a blind robber.

A little behind the scenes of Never Seen Lost.  Typically I scan the pictures in at work.  I’m going on vacation today so I am updating from home.  I found an old drawing pad to do the drawings and found some stuff I drew in high school.  Yikes.  I think I might have been EMO before it was cool.  That of course, is assuming that EMO is cool.  And, ya know, before it involved wearing all black and make up.  I don’t think I know what EMO is.

You can tell I couldn’t think of anything else to write here, can’t you?  You can?  :-/  Well, let’s get started then. Continue reading

Episode 7 of the Final Season of LOST

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!   If you have not seen the latest episode of LOST then you didn’t miss much.  But you will also find out what happens if you read this blog.  So proceed at your own peril. Even though there is no real danger, just potential psychological damage from finding out what happens in an episode of LOST before watching it.

That "Oops" file is getting pretty full, Bad Genie.

This week’s lesson is “Be careful what you wish for”.  The last couple weeks I’ve had a hard time keeping up because so much was happening in each episode.  I was hoping it would slow down a bit.  Then it’s like an incompetent Genie heard my wish and made it happen.  Although, since he is incompetent, he made an episode where we got two story lines where the same thing happens in both and it’s really boring.  Incompetent Genie needs to file this one in the bad-over-delivery-on-a-wish file.

The other theory here is that the writers, in a scramble to wrap up the season, crammed as much as they could in the last two episodes.  Then they realized they still have 5 episodes left and have explained everything already.  So now we get 4 episodes of everyone just kinda hanging out, waiting for the final conflict.  Ruh-roh, Shaggy, this could be a long 4 episode stretch. Continue reading

Episode 6 of the Final Season of LOST

SPOILER ALERT!!!! This blog contains information about LOST.  Not only that, but I am gonna spoil my own post and inform you that there is a killer video tribute at the end.

When I went to start last night’s episode I noticed Said was spelled Sayid in the cable guide description.  Fine.  I was using the spelling a college friend uses, but it’s their show so I am going to honor their wishes by adding another letter in there.  I’m not counting this on my ignorance tally.  It’s pretty high already.

The movie poster for the Ballad of Sayid has him fighting a dragon on top of a mountain.

This week we’re given a nice break from all the meaningful activity on the island.  Sure, we could talk about the fact that Sawyer already left.  We could talk about how Jack and Hurley are with Jacob and that Jack is clearly the frontrunner in Bachelorette: Maiden Voyage.  Perhaps we could discuss Jin’s current status since when we last saw him he was severely wounded with Claire.  Or maybe, just maybe, we could spend 50 minutes learning Sayid is a bad person.  We’re going with the last one.  Not my choice.  I only suggested it because I was running out of other ideas.  But, as mentioned above, not my show.  So on to the Ballad of Sayid… Continue reading