Outroduction.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!! This blog contains information about creating this blog.  It might contain info you never wanted to know.  It certainly contains little to no information about lost.  But it also includes some merch so you should check it out anyway.

The Stork is claiming joint custody.

As mentioned in the spoiler alert, all this is answering some questions people have asked either through Twitter or the comments.

Oh, and the video from the live reading.  Which was fun and super awesome.

And some merchandise.  Which is super lame to only have created now, but so it goes.

There’s also links to other stuff that has been going on.

I’m gonna level with you.  I need to take up space in this section for that picture to show up properly.  Thanks for your patience.

That was fun.  Let’s put this baby to bed.

Media

A bunch of stuff if you don’t feel like reading this but want to buy/see/read/listen to junk.

Never Seen Lost Merchandise
Yes, this would have been neat to have available already.  But better late than never.  I highly recommend the Sad Day Monster at work coffee mug.  If you have merch requests, just let me know and I will add them.

www.printfection.com/neverseenlost

The Live Reading
I read this as a newscaster for some reason.  Don’t take my inflections as the way this is intended to be read.  Big ups to Eric Bee for filming and editing.  He is one of the aforementioned coworkers who loves LOST.  Also, thanks to everyone who came out.  It was a lot of fun.  I got to meet new friendly people.

http://vimeo.com/12416696

Podcasts
Radio Askew interview: www.radioaskew.com
TV Zombies: www.televisionzombies.com episode 122

Special Guest Writing
815 Sentences about Lost: http://815sentencesaboutlost.com/post/439341099/the-day-the-final-season-of-lost-was-supposed-to Best place to quickly read the origin story of the blog.  Spoiler: It was not created in a lab when adamantium was grafted to it’s skeleton.
Super Duper Stream: 4 questions about the LOST Finale.  Good place to get final thoughts www.superduperstream.blogspot.com

Awesome Picture
Adam sent this to me after reading the spinoff ideas.  As you can see, we’re halfway to selling this to ABC.

Kudos to Adam for having the only non-hand drawn image on this entire blog

Some FAQs (that means Frequently Asked Questions)

What better way to start answering a few questions than a few from @wolfslice that he sent me several weeks ago.  I thought they were good questions.

once lost is over and your blog fades into obscurity, I would like to see an author Q&A.
Good. Here it is.  Also, 😦 to fading into obscurity regardless of how true it is.

What IS your favorite television program?
I really like South Park.  Futurama is hands down the most underrated TV show in history (note: underrated does not equal best).  I loved the Simpsons growing up.  I think you’re noticing a theme.

I’ve been meaning to watch the Wire.  Six Feet Under is the only drama that I can think of that I put out a lot of effort to watch new episodes as they came out.

Will you ever watch the older lost seasons?
Yes, I will watch older seasons.  I really hadn’t planned to but then all the flashback clips in the finale looked interesting and then I watched this video on College Humor and it made LOST look like a really good show.

Can you switch off your soul crushing sarcasm enough to enjoy any modern entertainment?
Yes.  But if I can’t (which happens far more often) it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy watching something and can’t appreciate it for what it is or what it is intended to be.

and finally, it could be funny to read what you think the other seasons might have been like (plot points etc).
Full disclosure, I had watched the above video about unanswered questions and since watching the finale had found out that they left and came back.  This is pretty similar to my answer when first asked a while ago though.
Season 1: They crash. It’s about being stranded and making friends. They most likely start pairing up into boyfriend/girlfriend couples a la Saved by the Bell.
Season 2: Crazy stuff is going on on the island.  They’re all like “whaaaaaaa?”
Season 3: Crazy stuff reaches a peak and they all think “we need to get out of here” because they are in danger from the Sad Day Monster and other crashed people. Ends with them leaving the island.
Season 4: They’re off the island.  They feel weird without the island in their lives.  They probably realized that they left a remote tropical island full of supplies to go back to working full time jobs and it was a poor choice.
Season 5: They go back to the island to set up the final conflict.  We opened the last season with Team Jacob and Team Jack, this was when they were formed. Also, they decided to set off a nuke.
Season 6: The end.

enjoy the blog. Bye
See ya.  Thanks for the questions.

Here are some general questions that a bunch of people asked either in comments or Twitter.

Are you going to watch the series backwards and write about it?
Not planning on it.  Unless I miss writing a blog about LOST.  Which is possible.  It’s a really good idea.  I am not watching backwards though because the show actually looks pretty good from what I have seen in clips and flashbacks.  If it ever goes into syndication (the main way I watch TV) then who knows what order I will see episodes in.

Are you a gay man or a straight woman?
Neither.  Straight dude.  And I love sports.

What did you think of the final season/finale?
I was surprised how accessible it was.  I might not have gotten the same effect as people who had seen it all on some of the details, but overall I could tell what was happening.

As for the show itself, I thought the acting was incredible.  The cast was really impressive.  I was fine with the ending.  But I also tend to like more open ended things.  My opinion changed slightly on it after watching that video above (I promise I don’t work for College Humor and had nothing to do with the making of that video) once I realized that just saying “Everything on the island really happened” isn’t enough for the people who have done nothing but wonder what the island was for the last six years.

It’s their show though.  They can do whatever they want with it.  Better than anything I’ve put on TV.

Have you been reading the comments?
Nope.  My lovely fiance screened my emails and the comments for me.  I knew basically what people were talking about (wondering if I was a dude) but I managed to avoid the spoilers.  At one point (Episode 8 ) I thought I would peak down and see if I could read them.  First comment was about how Kate and Sawyer built a runway.  Sigh.

This is totally fake.  You’ve definitely seen every episode.  You’re probably a key grip on the set.
Nope.  I’m not lying.  I’ve never seen an episode of LOST before this season.  Happy to take a lie detector test.  Although that seems like a waste of important tax dollars.

I got the Fight Club reference from a few posts ago.  Where’s my gold star?
Here you go.  Sorry it took so long.

Just click it then print it and everyone will know how awesome you are.

Why can’t you spell/recognize names?
It’s all about what I write down/hear while I watch.  Having gone back and reading some of the comments, I think people got a little too upset over the Whitmore/Widmore mix up.  They sound the same to me.   Some I didn’t put much effort into finding out.  For example, I enjoyed calling him Toga.  I could never tell what his real name was and Toga seemed to work just fine. I never read any sort of write up so all I had to go on was what I heard.  Sometimes I was right, sometimes I was wrong.

The spouse stable has a hay loft above it. I'm not sure why, though.

Will you marry me?
Yes.  But only in the context of this blog.  And I’m a polygamist.  And there might be some dudes in my stable of spouses.  I’m accepting all marriage proposals.

Why do you hate Jack?
I don’t hate Jack.  The point (or goal) was to take the show for face value based on the final season.  Which is exactly how the show is not intended to be taken.  Jack makes a lot of bad choices.  I think it came across as anger or hate more so because I couldn’t believe everyone kept listening to him.  Clearly they just need to roll with Miles and Ricardo.

Now what?
As of right now, I’ll probably write something similar next fall when TV shows are back.  Lead candidates are Smallville and Desperate Housewives.  We’ll see.  You can follow me on Twitter (@jdurbin) or email me (neverseenlost[at]yahoo[dot]com) and I will keep you posted.  Feel free to contact me if you have any unanswered questions or have a merch request.

I’ve enjoyed reading this!  You made me LOL!
I love making people LOL.  I’m glad that you enjoyed it.  I started writing this for a handful of friends, but having other people like it (especially people who loved the show and I didn’t know) just made it more fun to write.  I’m glad you came by and had some fun with me.

You should do a montage of every character’s death!
I can’t think of a better way to end this.

And now, a drawing of every character’s death or how I assume they died if we never saw it.  I’ll let you have the fun of guessing each one.  I’ll put a guide in the comments in a couple days.

And for those who want a longer look, here’s all the pictures that went into the making of this film.

Thanks for reading! It's been fun.