Episode 3 of the Final Season of LOST

SPOILER ALERT!!!!! This blog is about Episode 3.  It contains details about the episode and also explains exactly what LOST has been about all these years.  I’m just smart like that.

College dorm room or LOST writer's room? You decide.

Before we begin.  Was it just me or did it seem like the writers realized it was their last season and they had to tie a bunch of loose ends together?  Watching this I just kept imaging a college kid who didn’t realize his midterm paper was due tomorrow so was scrambling to pull an all-nighter and just started making up facts.  You know what I mean?  Course you do. Personally I think the writers jumped the gun because they clearly explained everything in this one episode.  All in the last 5 minutes no less.

I have no idea what anyone’s name is anymore.  I thought the Rebel was named Sawyer but the Sad Day Monster kept calling him James Ford.  I though the portly gentleman was named Hurley but apparently his name is Hugo Reyes.  Again, shame on the LOST writers for naming a huge person Hugo.  It’s probably glandular.  I’m pretty bad with names to begin with, so this is not helping.

Overall What is Happening

I think it’s pretty clear.  Jacob has been tasked with protecting the island from nothing and was looking for a successor so he could retire to a non-island.  He made a bunch of planes crash on the island to interview candidates, class president style.  A bunch of people have failed (died) and so his list is getting pretty short on nominees.  Sawyer and the Sad Day Monster say “no thanks” so there are two less candidates.  That’s it.  That’s all this show has been about.

(brushes dust off hands)

Anyone wanna go get a milkshake?

I ordered us one malt, two straws. *Wink*

More Detailed Episode Recap

I already explained the entire series above, but I guess we should do the full episode recap for posterity’s sake.

John was the focus of tonight’s episode in “The World Where LOST Doesn’t Exist Because the Plane Didn’t Crash” (never thought about that, did ya?).  Man, does his life suck.  I am pretty sure the writers just copied a bunch of FML’s to write his storyline.  He starts by getting home through a self driving van.  Or a ghost drove his van.  Or the guy who drove the van ran away after pulling up to his house.  Either way, John is flying solo as he tries to get out of his van.  The little elevator shorts out.  Rather than calling a neighbor he tries to make the jump and doesn’t make it.  Then as he is lying face down on the lawn the sprinklers turned on.  A lady named Ellen comes running out of the house to help him out.  Not sure why he didn’t just call her up on the ol’ cellphone once he got stranded, but to each his own.

John then stars in his own Cialis commercial by hanging out in a bathtub.  His lady is not in an accompanying bathtub, so you know, take that how you want. Ellen finds a business card for Dr. Hunkenstein (Jack) and gets all excited that he is a spine surgeon.  She asks John what up with that?  He says it was just some dude being polite… offering him a chance to walk again… whatevs, nothing to follow up on.

John goes to work at his telemarketing job.  His boss, who is trying too hard to be Dave Grohl, calls him out on not being at a conference.  Then fires him.  Not cool.  John goes out to the parking lot and some Hummer parked too close to his spot.   Turns out Hurley owns the Hummer.  John is rude to him.  Hurley is socially uncomfortable.  He offers John an opportunity at a temp agency he owns.  They become super buddies.  Hurley tells John to keep his chin up.  He’s saying that because Hurley doesn’t have one and wants John to appreciate what he’s got.  Also, he is a billionaire and doesn’t understand the concept of sadness.

John goes to the temp agency and is overall an unpleasant person.  Just interview, chief.  He grouches out and asks to see a manager.  She’s a pretty cool lady who is willing to tell it like it is.  As John is hanging streamers for a pity party, the Manager drops the bomb that she has terminal cancer.  Snap.  In your face.  She clearly is lying because if you have terminal cancer you probably shouldn’t be working as a manager at a temp agency.  You should be on a remote tropical island.

John explains to his wife that he got fired.  For being engaged and living together, she is really uninvolved in his life.  John admits he went for a walkabout and they said no.  Bummer.  All he packed were hunting knives.

The island was pretty straightforward this time around.  As straightforward as a deserted island with 15 different plane crashes, a few ghosts, and a monster can be at least.

It starts with a sequence that looks like it was directly lifted from The Animal.  Only difference is instead of it being the point of view of Rob Schneider it turned out to be the Sad Day Monster.  The Monster opens a bag and out pops Richard.  Being polite, the Monster apologizes for beating Richard and taking him off the beach.  Hey, no sweat.  This is the first of several times in the episode where someone politely explains what is going on.  Here we learn that Richard is a candidate and that if he just follows the guy who beat the heck out of him, everything will be explained.  Smartly, Richard says no.  Good lesson for the kids.  If someone mugs you, then promises to explain one of life’s mysteries, don’t follow them to a remote part of an already deserted island.  Speaking of kids.  Some blond kid appears.  It totally messes with the Monster.  I think his biological clock is ticking.  Someone’s baby crazy.

Sad Day Cloud just wants to hold him for a little while.

Sad Day Cloud just wants to hold him for a little while.

The Nerd is back (also known as Weinery Guy) and is as weinery as ever.  He can’t even lie convincingly when he admits he killed Jacob.  It’s here that we find out the Sad Day Monster is recruiting.  I would like to sign up.

The Monster stumbles into one of the luxury cabanas on the deserted island… where there is a record player… and booze.  Sawyer is tipsy and nude.  Finally, people are starting to enjoy their paradise.  Apparently they have TONS of Jim Beam.  Sad Day Monster decides to tip one back.  Then he goes around beating people in a drunken rage.  So sad.  He had so much potential.  Here we find out Sawyer is a homeowner.  Which is great.  This is a great time to buy if you are able to get a good down payment.  Sad Day Monster is playing the role of mortgage lender and telling Sawyer he doesn’t own squat.  Really amazing how far this economic downturn has spread.

The Monster informs Sawyer he can answer the most important question in the world: Why are you on this island?  Sawyer answers that it’s because his plane crashed… and his raft broke… and his… helicopter got messed up…?  No wonder he turned to the sauce and is so grumpy.  Sawyer agrees to go with him but first he needs to get his pants. Normally, the long list of transportation options would confuse me.  I’ve learned to just go with it.  There were probably 10 other vehicles on the island.  They need one of those amphibian duck tour boats.

On the beach, everyone decides to go to the temple.  Which sounds like a great idea.  PARTY!  We also find out some dude (I think curly haired Asian) is named Jin (Jen?  Gin?).  Which is great because I’ve wanted to know his name for a while.  Then some square points out they should bury John.  Nuts to that, just float him out to sea.  A lot less work, same result.

Sawyer and Bad Day Monter are walking through the woods when they see the blond kid.  Sawyer is drunk enough that he sees him too.  The Monster, instead of turning into his real rain cloud self, decides to run after him.  He trips. He falls.  Blondie reminds him of the rules and that he isn’t allowed to kill Sawyer.  Sad Day Monster is a rebel though.  He’ll do what he wants.  That’s why he likes Sawyer.  He gets it.

While all this is going on, Sawyer is just standing in a drunken stupor.  Richard pops out of nowhere and warns Sawyer that this guy is not to be trusted.  Sawyer ignores him.  Rebels stick together.  Richard runs away, the Monster returns.  Sawyer: “What happened to the kid?” Monster: “What kid?”  Sawyer: “Right.”  Here’s my question:  What does Sawyer think the Monster did with the kid?  He said “right” in the same way people in gang movies talk.  Like Sawyer just assumed he killed the kid and is saying he won’t narc.  After Sawyer drunkenly rambles about John Steinbeck, we find out that the Sad Day Monster used to be a People.  Good to know.

The folks on the beach (Team Jacob) go to bury John in a pretty big grave yard.  By my count this deserted island has 263 occupants.  This is supposed to be a sad funeral where he gets buried. I assume so at least.  No one wants to say anything until Nerdlinger admits John was a better man than him (that’s a long list) and he is sorry for murdering him.  No one really reacts to his confession.  This island needs a judicial system of some sort.

Finally, Drunk Sawyer and Sad Day Monster get to a cliff where someone has built a pretty impressive ladder system. They climb down and since Sawyer is hammered he falls down a bit and the Sad Day Monster saves him.  They go into a cave where Monster throws a rock and says it is an inside joke.  I don’t get it.  It’s here that they explain everything about the show. Jacob has been handing candy bars to everyone who ended up on the island.  He gave Sawyer his when he was a kid and then apparently took a sabbatical and started giving them out again 20 years later. There’s auditions to take over the island.  Everyone has a number.  Dead people are crossed off.  I got excited when I saw “8 – Reyes” because I thought that meant Jose Reyes was on the island somewhere.  But alas, Jose is #7.   Clearly Jack is #23 because he is the Michael Jordan of being handsome.  The Sad Day Monster gives Sawyer 3 choices.  1) Do nothing (sounds great to me. I’m gonna go back to getting drunk and listening to rock music on a tropical island.) 2) Protect the island from nothing.  (sounds like option 1, I’m in.) 3) We just go.  Thelma and Louise style.

Drunk Sawyer votes that they hit the bricks.  Not what I would have chosen.

Thoughts I Have

  • Character names to this point:  Jack, John, James, Jin, Jacob.  Can we turn the page in the baby-name book that the writers are using to name characters?
  • Speaking of names, Randy Nations was John’s boss.  C’mon.  Between that and Dr. Goodspeed I am starting to think everyone on land is using an alias.
  • If the Monster was gonna make nice with Sawyer, he should have disguised himself as Juliette.  Then they could have made that baby the Monster is jonesing for.
  • The first time I saw the actor who plays Richard he was as the Mayor in The Dark Knight.  At the time I thought it was really progressive for the people of Gotham to elect someone who wore guyliner (eyeliner for dudes).  He’s wearing it again in LOST.  I bet he has a rider in his contract that he gets to wear it regardless of role.  I hope he one day gets to live his dream of starring in a David Bowie music video.

    Be sure to share with Pete Wentz.

184 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by J.W. on February 17, 2010 at 11:37 am

    Laugh out loud funny again, John. The Lost writers should hire you to write the finale.

    Reply

  2. Posted by Will Dearborn on February 17, 2010 at 11:51 am

    I have this huge urge to keep wanting to correct you on certain things, but that would ruin it huh? Keep it up.

    Reply

  3. Posted by luthien on February 17, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    I am cracking up!!!! Seriously you have become my fav reviewer. Lost is more fun when you talk about it LMAO

    Reply

  4. Posted by the Simpleman on February 17, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    This is the highlight of my morning after Lost has aired. Keep up the hilarious, quirky, OK-with-being-confused work! And promise us that you’ll blog you’re way through the previous seasons….backwards!

    Reply

  5. Posted by alfvaen on February 17, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Dude, you missed that the Manager lady with terminal cancer (Rose) was the black woman from the middle-aged interracial couple on the plane two episodes ago. This makes it an Important Link.

    Reply

    • Posted by April on February 22, 2010 at 7:21 am

      “John goes to the temp agency and is overall an unpleasant person. Just interview, chief. He grouches out and asks to see a manager. She’s a pretty cool lady who is willing to tell it like it is. As John is hanging streamers for a pity party, the Manager drops the bomb that she has terminal cancer. Snap. In your face. She clearly is lying because if you have terminal cancer you probably shouldn’t be working as a manager at a temp agency. You should be on a remote tropical island.”
      I wanted to say “that’s because her plane didn’t crash!”

      Reply

  6. Posted by GUY on February 17, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    That was GOLD! “Clearly Jack is #23 because he is the Michael Jordan of being handsome. ” Ahahahahahahahh You are making this season bearable. Grassy a$$.

    Reply

  7. Posted by Red on February 17, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    I definitely think this is made up now, there are just too many instances where it seems like you are “in on the joke” so to speak. Kind of funny though regardless.

    Reply

  8. Posted by J B on February 17, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    Funniest review i’ve ever read, whether you realy havent seen lost before or are just pretending like some people think i don’t know but your reviews are hilarious, i now look forward to them almost as much as the episode themselves (well not really, but i look forward to them alot lol). Keep it up.

    Reply

  9. Dude, I’m from Brazil and somehow I found your blog and reading your comments is making this season so much funnier!! HAHA! You’re hilarious, hope no one tells you the correct things, this way is so much better!!! You forgot to say that “Don’t tell me what I can’t do” was told like five thousand times in this episode!!! Keep it!!

    Reply

  10. you know what. you get it all! haha seriously

    Reply

  11. college dorm room drawing. spot on!

    Reply

  12. I still think this blog is legit. Some of the more insider-y jokes — like Richard’s eyeliner — are basically the same things we long-time LOST fans remarked on the very first time we laid our eyes on him. Someone trying to write a fake site might skip that just because it’s a joke that everyone’s heard already. :)

    Anyway, I love the name “Sad Day Monster.” I hope that catches on. :)

    Reply

  13. And, oh yeah:

    “Clearly Jack is #23 because he is the Michael Jordan of being handsome. ”

    Best line ever.

    Reply

  14. Posted by Binha on February 17, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    LOL, this is goddamn funny!!! I look forward for your reviews now, so you better keep doing ‘em =P

    Reply

  15. Posted by Chris on February 17, 2010 at 8:04 pm

    hmmmm….

    Reply

  16. Posted by Nano on February 17, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    Great blog! i`ve just read all entries and comments, and cant stop laughing,,,
    just want yo know WHY people tries to explain details to you? It seems they dont get what this blog is about :P
    And if this is or no a fake i dont care, its very funny either way :), so dont bother trying to figure out!

    Great stuff!

    Reply

  17. Posted by marc on February 17, 2010 at 10:29 pm

    Amazing! Watching the show is the highlight of my week, reading your blog after the show is a very close second!

    After you finish the season, I think you should continue with the other seasons, but watch them in reverse! Start with The Incident and work backwards… SPOILER eventually the plane will take off violently from the island and reform in the air over the island.

    Reply

  18. “Character names to this point: Jack, John, James, Jin, Jacob. Can we turn the page in the baby-name book that the writers are using to name characters? ”

    LMAO! This is f***ing hilarious man, please keep up the great work — I will have something to look forward to after every Lost episode!

    Reply

  19. Hahaha, that’s great, coming from a fellow Lost fan

    Reply

  20. Posted by gibbs12 on February 18, 2010 at 8:45 am

    19TH! FAKE. GAY. ‘SHOPPED.

    best line: “I am pretty sure the writers just copied a bunch of FML’s to write his storyline.”

    Reply

  21. Posted by Eric on February 18, 2010 at 11:21 am

    Pretty funny, I liked the first two episodes you did more. Obviously you’ve seen the show before (I’m guessing you own the first five seasons) but that doesn’t make it any less hilarious.

    Reply

    • Posted by smog_monster on February 19, 2010 at 1:12 pm

      I’d like to know why you think it’s “obvious” that he’s seen the show before. Explain.

      Reply

      • Posted by Nerdlinger on February 19, 2010 at 3:47 pm

        I’m pretty sure this person is a she because of all the references to hunky guys and making fun of Richard’s eyes.

        Reply

        • Posted by LostandFound on February 19, 2010 at 4:48 pm

          Seriously, I don’t get why everyone thinks this blogger has seen the show before. Explain yourselves.

          Reply

        • Posted by Saltywhatnow on February 19, 2010 at 7:35 pm

          I have a whole bunch of gay friends who have frequent arguments over exactly how hunky Jack is, and a roughly equal number of female friends who don’t find him attractive at all. Therefore I don’t understand how making references to his supposed hunkyness automatically makes the writer a woman.

          Reply

        • Posted by Johnny on April 30, 2010 at 6:09 pm

          A guy. Dudes a he. He’s a dude. Mister, mister. Bloody hell.

          Reply

  22. Posted by workingmom on February 18, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE your recaps! Keep it up – and keep figuring out stuff on your own without the commenters’ “helpful” guidance. A fresh viewpoint is so enlightening on this show!
    “Man, does his life suck. I am pretty sure the writers just copied a bunch of FML’s to write his storyline. ” LMAO.
    And your caption “College dorm room or Lost writers’ room? You decide” – you have NO idea. Wait till you find out what other stuff these fratboys have written for the female characters.

    Reply

  23. Wow, I really dont see what all the fuss is about Lost.

    Jess

    Reply

  24. “Clearly Jack is #23 because he is the Michael Jordan of being handsome. ”

    LMAO, you rock my world with this stuff

    Reply

  25. You need to watch this

    Keep up the good work! This shit is hilarious.

    Reply

  26. Posted by Adam on February 18, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    What I took from the rock thing was, if you look again one rock is light” good” and one black “Bad”. They are on a scale and they are balanced. since jacob is now dead “Light rock,” Monster throws white rock into ocean creating an uneven scale with only the dark “Bad” rock. It is symbolic. It is showing that “evil” is now out weighing good on the island. Do you get what I am saying?

    Reply

    • Why on Earth would you give away information important to the plot? Don’t you get the premise behind this blog?

      Reply

      • Posted by smog_monster on February 19, 2010 at 1:14 pm

        No, he doesn’t. I’d say Adam’s a little “thick”.

        Reply

        • Posted by Adam on February 19, 2010 at 5:48 pm

          what is the premise of this blog then? The person said that they didn’t understand the thing with the rock so i thought i could explain my opinion. Giving away information? What the hell do take from recap?

          Reply

          • It’s meant to be what some of us call “humorous.” It’s funny precisely *because* the writer doesn’t have the first five seasons or a legion of obsessed fans to go on. It is my impression that this blog is laden with such archaic techniques as “sarcasm” and “irony,” rather than being a cry for help. Brilliant!

            I am ashamed to be named Adam right now.

          • Posted by Adam on February 19, 2010 at 8:31 pm

            I understand that it is humorous but I was just trying to help. Don’t PMS saying that I am giving away valuable information. take it or leave it, I really dont care. I am not obsessed I am just able to see past what is there. If you think that I sit in my room all day watching LoST and disscuseing my theories on time travel on blogs than you must be mistaken. You are probally better off fighting over this is edisode 3 or 4 with the people who have nothing better to do

          • Posted by Adam on February 19, 2010 at 8:34 pm

            Also this is not giving away information. It was in THIS episode and Dark and White useually mean good and bad. Really anyone can understand this from watching Just this episode.

          • Posted by ALostFan on February 19, 2010 at 9:45 pm

            Look, it’s HUMOR. The author doesn’t want information from Pretentious Lost Fans, he/she is writing a blog from the point of view of NOT knowing anything before season 6 started. It’s not a blog asking for explanations of whats going on, it was supposed to be for fun; Damon thought it was funny unfortunately since he tweeted about it now we have to have people coming here correcting the author on names & giving theories. Lord knows there’s enough other places for that, can’t there be one place for humor? Even if the author has seen the show before, this blog is hysterical. I’d rather read this than 100 stupid theories.

          • Posted by Adam on February 19, 2010 at 10:11 pm

            W/E. I dont twitter, i found this on DIGG. give me a break. it is just an observation now get off my case.

          • Posted by Adam on February 19, 2010 at 10:35 pm

            And if you think I am trying to be a duche bag coming in here and trying to show off idiotic knowledge of LOST than you are wrong. I glanced at the page, the person showed understanding of the show and said ” They go into a cave where Monster throws a rock and says it is an inside joke. I don’t get it.” I just thought they they might want to understand what it symbolizes. I am giving away information? What information is that? I hate lost fans that blog about theories just as much as any of you. So don’t get angry. People who complain about spoilers in this recap are idiots and those who tell me this recap contains Humor can go to hell because anyone who reads this page knows it is meant to be funny. Don’t think I am a fat guy sitting in a dorm room in California that takes lost more seriously than being social or living ones life. If this does not clear everything up than I dont know what will, because it seams everytime i try to defend myself people just come back at me for not haveing a sense of humor.

          • Posted by Dani on February 22, 2010 at 1:26 am

            I don’t think you are a fat guy sitting in a dorm room in California. My guess was Texas.

          • Posted by Hannah on February 22, 2010 at 11:04 am

            Lol Adam u have my pity it seems some people are taking this blog Wayyyyyyyyy to seriously, they all say it’s supposed to be in humor then jump down your throat cos you try and help, I think you all need to lighten up and stop calling Adam names cos it’s pretty childish!

  27. [...] I’d like to debate this guy on the possible endings of [...]

    Reply

  28. Posted by Joe Green on February 18, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    Good Stuff!

    Reply

  29. Posted by jamesyb0i on February 18, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    You don’t watch the show intently enough :P Rose does have terminal cancer and its interesting because she won’t be going to the island and she will die

    Reply

  30. These keep getting funnier.

    Reply

  31. Posted by Miguel on February 18, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    not that funny ppl cmon!, hey this is the episode 4… i hadnt seen the 4th episode when i start to read and you spoiled some of it. also that guy with eyeliner looks like eyeliner but really are a lot of eyelashes

    Reply

    • Posted by smog_monster on February 19, 2010 at 1:16 pm

      You read a RECAP of episode four and are shocked when episode 4 is spoiled for you? That’s kind of stupid, isn’t it?

      Reply

      • Posted by Dharmist on February 19, 2010 at 3:54 pm

        Not that stupid considering that the post title says it’s the recap of episode 3. *Waves*

        Reply

        • It is pretty stupid considering how much of the beginning of this post is mundane things which very clearly don’t apply to What Kate Does (like Flocke calling Sawyer “Ford”) before it gets to actually spoilery material. You’d think someone who started reading this post thinking it was about “The Substitute” would see that and realize “hey, I haven’t seen an episode with Smokie talking to Sawyer, I should stop.”

          I agree, though, that this is a potential risk which outweighs the bit of humor in the wrong episode numbering.

          Reply

    • This is episode 3. The premiere was two-hour but still considered one episode.

      Reply

      • Posted by Joanne on February 19, 2010 at 7:28 pm

        Actually, this is episode 4. They do it by hour. The premiere was Episodes 1 and 2. BUT, the reader is responsible for know this is not a normal Lost recap.

        Reply

        • Posted by Dani on February 22, 2010 at 1:27 am

          I think there might be a difference in episode numbering between whether you watch the show on television and whether you download it illegally on the internet.

          public service announcement just to clear things up. that’s just the kind of guy i am.

          Reply

  32. It doesn’t sound like someone who has never seen lost, you knew way too much about characters. It sounds like someone who has a damn hard time understanding it though. Also don’t understand your jokes like calling the monster “sad day” – wtf?

    Reply

    • Posted by April on February 24, 2010 at 4:59 pm

      the blogger referenced the monster as “a black cloud that follows you around on a bad day” in one of these recaps, and hence named the monster the “sad day monster”. I think that is marvelous….

      Reply

  33. Posted by Miguel on February 18, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    Oh, now i know why i didnt think it was funny, it does seems you have to read the last 2 posts, so you can really see his learning process. ppl read the last 2 entries before you read this one, the feeling is actually like Lost where ou have to watch it from the beggining, awesome blog…

    Reply

  34. First, you are a gifted comedian and I am now looking forward to reading these each week. “The Nerd” and “Nerdlinger” references both had me busting up laughing.

    Second, this is for people who just dismiss this as someone who has seen the show because “It doesn’t sound like someone who has never seen lost, you knew way too much about characters.” Are you so unoriginal in your life that you can’t believe someone can create these fantastic observations from simply watching a show and commenting on it? I would hate to be a part of your cynical, small world where anyone who shows creativity is dismissed as a fraud. And even if it turns out he is a huge fan and is just being funny, really, who cares? Just enjoy it or move on with your life.

    Keep up the good work papadurbin.

    Reply

  35. Posted by ashleebear on February 19, 2010 at 1:18 am

    I’m a disturbingly obsessed Lost fangirl, and this is seriously the best Lost-related thing I’ve ever seen. I’m actually sore from laughing so hard. Nicely done.

    Reply

  36. Posted by Michael Karbacher on February 19, 2010 at 1:46 am

    Your reviews are the funniest things I’ve ever read… Thank you!

    “This island needs a judicial system of some sort.” It acutally had one… the sad day monster used to judge people before it became John Locke, at least that whas the general impression the viewers had of it.

    Reply

  37. Posted by Jbusy on February 19, 2010 at 8:22 am

    Lock’s Van was converted for paraplegics can drive. They simply put hand controls instead of foot controls, seen it many times.

    Reply

  38. Posted by mandy on February 19, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    OMG!! this is fantastic! i have seen every lost ep at least 2 times and s1 – s3, i’ve seen about 5 times each.

    ANYWAY!!! I AM A SUPER FAN AND THINK THIS IS BETTER THAN ANY OTHER LOST BLOG EVER!

    thanks for making my day…i read it all at lunch today…i can’t wait to catch up next week!

    Reply

  39. Posted by Jake on February 19, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    Wonderful!! I hate lost too! Funny! Yeah.. um.. ok.. hey.. man.. really? You still on this?

    It’s a fine line between love and hate and you seem to be sporting some Lost wood.

    I love the way you think that obsessive continued mockery of something obsessive is somehow less pathetic. I thought the first one you wrote was funny, but now, you’re just as cultist and stale as the people you’re having fun with.

    The joke is over. Funny left an hour ago with relevance and timing. You must be preparing to write for Saturday Night Live.

    I bet you have other funny things to say other than “LOST is dumb GAAAAH!” Let me know when you do, if you do.

    Reply

  40. I tip my hat to you, sir. I am a self-proclaimed “Lostie,” seen every episode, and this blog is HILARIOUS. I literally LOLed quite a few times reading these 3 entries. So many great one-liners.

    Please keep it up for the duration of the season. I’m nervous that the finale is not going to live up to my rabid fan expectations, so if it doesn’t, your humor will soften the blow.

    Reply

  41. Sad Day Monster.

    That’s all you had to say. As it’s brilliant.

    Reply

  42. Posted by melissa on February 19, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    i’ve never heard of Ben referred to as a nerd, which was nice actually. oh, and Richard, or the actor actually, just has really thick eyelashes, which is why he looks like he’s wearing guyliner. that was revealed in an interview with him about both TDK and LOST.

    Reply

    • Posted by Gater on February 20, 2010 at 9:05 pm

      How dare you give away stuff about the show!!!!!! Don’t you understand the point of this blog. Shame on you! Oh, just kidding.

      Reply

  43. rofl I hadn’t notice about all the names starting with J before, lol.

    Nice comment. You DO know that Damn Lindelof (Co writer/producer) has found your blog and has tweeted about it for people to see? I think that’s pretty awesome!

    Reply

    • Posted by watched17times on February 28, 2010 at 5:52 am

      Oh . I know…. there is a lot of J names. Didn’t notice either. Maybe they just all came on gradually…haha! I haven’t laughed this hard in YEARS! Probably because I have been obsessed with LOST for the last several years and it’s all I watch anymore. Sad Day Monster is helping me hang the streamers for my pity party…LMAO!! I actually had to stop and take a break from reading to catch my breath. This is too freaking funny. I just really wish that the people who keep giving information and the people who don’t understand the reason for this blog cuz A) They can’t read B) They didn’t read the first post, or C) They are just jerks …will all go away to another blog, so the ones who know the purpose will not have to keep yelling at these people. Cuz that ends up negating all the laughing I just did. Maybe I will post here but not read the comments anymore.
      Maybe our wonderfully talented blogger should just very briefly recap the reason for starting the blog at the beginning of each episode’s recap. It won’t help the people who chose A or C, but maybe we can cut down on at least 30 percent of those spoilers and haters, right?

      Reply

  44. Posted by Chelsea on February 19, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    I just spit my water all over my computer because I was laughing so hard. Oops!

    Great job, keep it up!

    Reply

  45. Posted by Marcus on February 19, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    Brilliant and Damon Lindelof tweeted about it

    Reply

    • Posted by TaniaNicole on February 24, 2010 at 12:26 am

      Did he really, Marcus? That’s too cool!!

      “John was the focus of tonight’s episode in “The World Where LOST Doesn’t Exist Because the Plane Didn’t Crash” (never thought about that, did ya?). Man, does his life suck. I am pretty sure the writers just copied a bunch of FML’s to write his storyline. ”

      LMGDAO!

      papadurbin, keep it up, these are great!!!

      I DO have to stick up for the producers here and say that they have had a definite beginning and a definite END already planned when the show started. It’s all the stuff in between that they had to write and try to make sure it would all fit withe the beginning and the end.

      Not hating at all, I love this blog.

      Cheers, brotha!

      T
      :)

      Reply

  46. This is pure awesome. Topped with awesome sauce.

    Reply

  47. Posted by Amy on February 19, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    I DIED at the weinery guy part. It took me a minute to realize who you were talking about which made it even funnier.

    Reply

  48. Benjamin Linus would kill you for calling him a nerd. I’m not kidding.

    Reply

  49. Posted by wildambition on February 19, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    The entire paragraph about finding Sawyer nude and Jim Beam and Sad Day Monster and real estate is genius! I can’t stop laughing.

    Good stuff! Keep it up!

    Reply

  50. Posted by Brandon on February 19, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    Wow, you couldn’t be more off.

    Reply

    • Posted by watched17times on February 28, 2010 at 5:56 am

      That’s the point, right? I love this stuff!…..The economy spread all the way to the island. John/Sad Day Monster came to inform him it wasn’t his house anymore, cuz Sawyer was originally a “homeowner!” Frickin HILARIOUS..please keep it comin. I almost wet my pants. Seriously!

      Reply

  51. Posted by ESQuire on February 19, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    I pray to God you keep this up. Your writing is easy on the eyes just as a matter of course… but your subject matter and approach here are … amazing. Keep it up, please. Don’t get discouraged. For a bunch of Lost fans out here, you are making our day.

    Reply

  52. Posted by Vicky on February 19, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    Big fan of the show, but this is the best LOST blog I’ve ever read. You are hilarious. Thank you.

    Reply

  53. YOU’RE SO FRICKIN’ FUNNY.
    “Man, does his life suck. I am pretty sure the writers just copied a bunch of FML’s to write his storyline.”
    “Hurley tells John to keep his chin up. He’s saying that because Hurley doesn’t have one and wants John to appreciate what he’s got.”
    “No one wants to say anything until Nerdlinger admits John was a better man than him (that’s a long list) and he is sorry for murdering him. No one really reacts to his confession. This island needs a judicial system of some sort.”
    “What does Sawyer think the Monster did with the kid? He said “right” in the same way people in gang movies talk. Like Sawyer just assumed he killed the kid and is saying he won’t narc.”
    and the names thing at the end, hahaha :D
    This is so awesome.
    Can’t wait for next week’s.

    Reply

  54. “She clearly is lying because if you have terminal cancer you probably shouldn’t be working as a manager at a temp agency. You should be on a remote tropical island.”

    I laughed out loud. This is ironic in so many levels.

    Reply

  55. Posted by Anxious on February 19, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    The more I read the more I get the feeling that this person is putting it on, and just wants an angle for an excuse to try and be funny about Lost.

    Reply

  56. Posted by Aimz on February 19, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Reading this at work and I get to…

    “Really amazing how far this economic downturn has spread.”

    and laugh out loud. Then…

    “This island needs a judicial system of some sort.”

    and I laugh so hard that I start to cry. Then…

    “I saw “8 – Reyes” because I thought that meant Jose Reyes was on the island somewhere. But alas, Jose is #7. ”

    and…

    “Clearly Jack is #23 because he is the Michael Jordan of being handsome.”

    and I laugh so hard that I piss my pants. Now I have to leave work and go home and change my pants and work late tonight to make up for the time that I spent going home to change.

    Reply

  57. Posted by Borgi on February 19, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    I don’t know who you are but I totally heart you! Hilarious! Genius! Thanks from a huge LOST fan!

    Reply

  58. Posted by Dr. Burke on February 19, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Thank you so much for this. You have me in fits of giggles.

    Reply

  59. Posted by Tiffany on February 19, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    Hysterical. Saw Damon himself tweeted about you and had to check it out. Def worth the time. Still cracking up.

    Thanks from Hawaii!

    Reply

  60. [...] Episode 3 of the Final Season of LOST SPOILER ALERT!!!!! This blog is about Episode 3.  It contains details about the episode and also explains exactly what [...] [...]

    Reply

  61. Posted by Schwamy on February 19, 2010 at 6:10 pm

    “Sawyer and Bad Day Monter are walking through the woods when they see the blond kid. Sawyer is drunk enough that he sees him too.”

    Made me laugh so hard. This isn’t really ruining it for you, but thewy guy who plays Richard has really dark eyelashes, not guy liner. One of my coachs has the same thing.

    Reply

  62. Posted by Shane on February 19, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    Ha Ha Ho Ho. I had trouble explaining to my four year old daughter why I was laughing when you stated “this island needs a judicial system of some sort.” So entertaining!

    Reply

  63. Posted by MIke on February 19, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    From someone who has never seen an episode, this is like reading random words from a dictionary.

    Reply

  64. Posted by LolaG on February 19, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    I’m among those who is quite convinced you’ve not only seen this show, you’ve seen every episode a couple of times. Like me. Okay, I’ve seen them all four times, not a couple of times. But whatever the case, excellent stuff. Keep up the good, laugh out loud work.

    Reply

  65. Posted by Eric on February 19, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    Keep these up! Lost is my favorite show, but I admit it’s pretty goofy and stupid. But I LIKE goofy and stupid, so it all works out. These write-ups are similar to how my friends and I talk about Lost. We don’t talk theories or anything, we just make dumb jokes about it.

    Best line: “Hurley tells John to keep his chin up. He’s saying that because Hurley doesn’t have one and wants John to appreciate what he’s got.”

    Reply

  66. Posted by Ali Moorhead on February 19, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    OMG – a friend found your blog and shared it with us over at a LOST forum. SO much I want to correct you on – but your point of view of everything is HIGH LARRY US!!!!!!!! When it’s all over, please watch it from the beginning and enjoy the awesomeness that is this show. I’ll be keeping up to date with your ramblings :)

    Reply

  67. Posted by Cassie on February 19, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    So funny… I am a devout LOST fan, and even though I would love to explain all those little things – I laughed out loud alone in a room reading this. Kinda like crazy people do. Like the guys who write LOST do when they get their paychecks.

    Keep it up.

    Reply

  68. Posted by Missjoke on February 19, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    “Clearly Jack is #23 because he is the Michael Jordan of being handsome.”

    For God’s sake, you’re fucking funny! This line made my day.

    Looking forward about reading your review next week!

    And yes, John’s life really does suck, in all timelines.

    Reply

  69. Posted by Jarred on February 19, 2010 at 8:23 pm

    Awesome Idea!

    Reply

  70. Posted by Sethimus on February 19, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    I’ve been a fan of the show for a long while now and I just have to say your recaps are the cats pajamas. Not sure if you have any idea how ironic some of your observations are, but they really hit close to home a few times.

    Any plans on watching the previous seasons after this?

    Reply

  71. Posted by jotaR on February 19, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    man, i used to like this show sooo much, and now i hate it,
    5-6 seasons are ridiculous,

    Reply

  72. Posted by Mark on February 19, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    It’s obvious that the premise of having never watched the show before is a farce, but what is “FML”?

    Reply

    • From Fmylife’s FAQ page:

      Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with Today and end with FML. On top of being a huge release for the person telling their story, delightfully proving that screw ups happen to everybody every day, fmylife.com also aims to be funny for everyone involved, as well as a way to share your misfortunes with other unlucky individuals, bearing in mind that self deprecation and a sense of irony are essential!

      Reply

    • Sorry – part of my above reply went missing. FML stands for F**k My Life. Examples can be found at Fmylife.com

      Reply

  73. Posted by svijay on February 19, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    You’re outstanding – every post just keeps getting better!! For someone who loved seasons 1&2, was somewhat confused and eventually give up halfway into season 4, your narrative is a hilarious revival!! And ‘guyliner’ had me delirious with laughter!!

    Reply

  74. Obviously fake!

    how does he know about the alternate timeline?.. is that a conclusion you would go to right away if you just started watching?

    flashback or flashforward.. maybe.. but right away guess that it must be an alternate timeline?.. (like that happens on every show)

    Reply

  75. Posted by culwin on February 19, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    Gee, it sounds really stupid the way you describe it! LOL

    Reply

  76. Posted by troismommy on February 20, 2010 at 1:28 am

    I love your recaps! I am laughing out loud like an idiot. Love it! I can’t pick just one line that’s a favorite, but this one had me rolling, ““Clearly Jack is #23 because he is the Michael Jordan of being handsome. ”

    Keep it up!!

    Reply

  77. Posted by TimeforTravel on February 20, 2010 at 1:49 am

    Jacob handing candy bars,omg that’s hilarious. :D

    Reply

  78. Now, every time I think of the monster, I will also think of its ticking biological clock. XD

    Reply

    • Posted by April on February 22, 2010 at 7:27 am

      So THAT’S what that incessant ticking is every time the sad day cloud came around was?! I can’t believe I didn’t catch on sooner. rofl

      Reply

  79. Posted by casey on February 20, 2010 at 3:31 am

    The actor who plays Richard (Nestor Carbonell) does not wear any eyeliner. He actually wears concealer to lighten up his super dark lashes, as seen and addressed by Nestor himself in the makeup room on the Season 5 Lost DVD features.

    Reply

  80. Posted by LostieTico on February 20, 2010 at 8:43 am

    YOU. ARE. A. GENIUS. I had never laughed so much in my life. Ever.

    Reply

  81. Posted by calandrella on February 20, 2010 at 10:55 am

    Very funny, but I don’t think you haven’t watched Lost. Too many inside jokes/references in your texts (Candy bars/Ewoks/”You should be on a remote tropical island.”).

    Reply

    • Posted by outlander on February 20, 2010 at 12:17 pm

      The candy bar is not an inside joke or reference, it was shown in the episode as a flashback when Jacob gave the candy bar to Jack. But the line “You should be on a remote tropical island” seemed a bit suspicious to me too. Anyway there’s no point debating whether this blog is “fake” or not as long as it’s funny it makes my day.

      Reply

  82. Posted by calandrella on February 20, 2010 at 10:57 am

    Oh, and if you actually haven’t watched the earlier seasons of Lost, you really should. They are great, and so is season 6, if you have watched the earlier ones.

    Reply

  83. Posted by Confu-Zed on February 20, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    O.M.G. Hubby came running to see why I was shrieking with laughter at the top of my lungs, to find I had tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard! I love LOST and have seen all eps from the beginning, but find myself many times as LOST about what’s going on as you seem to be, hence calling myself Confu-Zed here. ;-) Regarding the raging debate: I think you are legit, not a fake. But frankly, I don’t care. I just hope you continue blogging throughout this last LOST season. Your cartoons are like a `bonus round`. I actually had to Google what ‘FML’ means. LOL. Highlights for me: the Michael Jordan reference; the Nerdlinger moniker; pointing out all the `J` names, the entire section about nude Sawyer, the real estate, the booze, and his pants. I can`t wait for your next installment!!! Kudos about Damon tweeting about you and your blog going totally viral now!

    Reply

  84. Posted by outlander on February 20, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    There is just one thing that the author of this blog should be corrected on. The season premiere aired as a two-parter (“LA X” Part 1 and Part 2) which means that the latest episode is not “Episode 3″ but actually is Episode 4. It should be corrected in order to avoid further confusion

    Reply

  85. Posted by selma on February 20, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    ‘Jacob has been handing candy bars to everyone who ended up on the island.’

    ‘Sawyer and Bad Day Monter are walking through the woods when they see the blond kid. Sawyer is drunk enough that he sees him too.’

    best ones…excellent, just like previous recaps…

    Reply

  86. the actor who plays richard doesn’t wear guyliner–he just has perfect eyelashes :)

    Reply

  87. Am I missing something? Is this a joke? You seriously think that they would explain the entire series in the last five minutes of the final season’s third episode? Each and every episode, for the last two seasons, people think they know all of the answers based on the last segment of the last episode that they saw, and they always turn out to be completely wrong.

    Reply

  88. Posted by Jesse on February 20, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    To whomever writes this blog: I don’t care if you’re a man, woman or neutered puppy. Just keep writing this because you are absolutely brilliant. I laugh so hard I hurt myself. If I was allowed to read this at the office I could apply for Workers’ Comp. Pain never felt so good.

    And for all of the Losties who want to ‘educate’ the author, please shush. We have had over five years to discuss this and haven’t come half as close as this blogger to a solution.

    Reply

  89. Posted by Elwing on February 20, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    I followed Damon Lindelof’s (the exec producer and writer of LOST) link on twitter to your blog… he mentioned you were awesome… I think this is pretty awesome too… and I do like the suggestions of you reviewing the other seasons backwards… keep at it!.. need my dose of funny…

    Reply

  90. Posted by Stephanie @ BonaFide on February 20, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    Nice lady with cancer at temp. agency looked familiar right? That’s because she was the woman on the plane that tried to calm Jack down when the plane hit turbulence in Episode One.

    Reply

  91. Posted by Courtney on February 20, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    Fun blog to read! Not sure if a “non” Lost viewer would find it as funny as those of us who watch religiously! Keep up the good work…. it’s very entertaining.

    Reply

  92. Posted by dl15 on February 20, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    Haha, dude. Once you’re done with season 6, you should recap S5, then S4, then 3 then 2 and then 1 :D

    Reply

  93. Posted by george on February 21, 2010 at 12:26 am

    I think its a gay guy.
    it has to be.

    straight people arent this funny

    Reply

  94. Posted by Ryan on February 21, 2010 at 2:09 am

    i think it would be great if you went back after this season and watched the rest, i’m loving reading your blog!!!

    Reply

  95. Posted by Jimi on February 21, 2010 at 11:38 am

    Reply

  96. “Character names to this point: Jack, John, James, Jin, Jacob. Can we turn the page in the baby-name book that the writers are using to name characters? ”

    This is so funny! Keep writing…

    Reply

  97. Posted by Fred on February 21, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Fun fact about Gotham mayor Richard, he played the superhero “BatManuel” (best Latino superhero name ever) in the short-lived TV series “The Tick”.

    best line?

    “What size is your costume?”
    “Eet ees BatManuel size!”

    Reply

  98. Posted by Claire on February 21, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    “Sawyer is tipsy and nude. Finally, people are starting to enjoy their paradise.” I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face.

    Reply

  99. Posted by Krys on February 21, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    Love this idea but my god we get it, you think Jack is hot. Uh, everytime I read that I wanna throw up.

    Reply

  100. You do have a talent for comedic misinterpretation:

    “Some blond kid appears. It totally messes with the Monster. I think his biological clock is ticking. Someone’s baby crazy.”

    Not to mention:

    “If the Monster was gonna make nice with Sawyer, he should have disguised himself as Juliette. Then they could have made that baby the Monster is jonesing for.”

    I rarely laugh out loud, but I did at this.

    Reply

  101. Posted by Pamy on February 21, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    These summaries are priceless! I would rather read your recap than a ‘real’ one from someone in the know, I mean, how boring would that be?

    I hope you skim through the posts that try and tell you what is happening and continue writing is blissful ignorance. I also agree with the person that hopes you guess the real meaning to all this before we do! LOL
    Thanks for sharing your comedic talent with the web!

    Reply

  102. Your recaps of the show are hilarious! I’ve been watching the show since the beginning and it’s good to have a refresher after each episode. I wish you had been writing this the last six years! Maybe after LOST is over, you can switch over to Fringe? That’s show’s freaky weird!

    Reply

    • Hi Mark,After lidnang back on British soil today after our honeymoon, I have just seen your post and the pictures, oh my gosh they are amazing… I cried happy tears seeing them!!!! As jet lag is starting to kick in, viewing your slideshow has brought the memories of our special day back to life. You did a fantastic job and the photo’s are exactly what we wanted, thank you so so much. I can’t wait to see the full album.Thanks againSophie TwitchenXxxX

      Reply

  103. Posted by Phil Brough on February 21, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    Fucking lame dude

    Reply

  104. “She clearly is lying because if you have terminal cancer you probably shouldn’t be working as a manager at a temp agency. You should be on a remote tropical island.”

    OH THE IRONY hahahaha :)

    This stuff is so hilarious. Keep up the good work :D

    Reply

  105. Posted by ali on February 22, 2010 at 3:23 am

    What does “weinery” dude mean?

    Also, is the nerd Michael Emerson, the serial killer from that legal show Dylan McDermott did all those years ago? (I don’t watch Lost, but this is my guess…)

    Reply

  106. Posted by charmy_canuck on February 22, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    LOL this is hilarious! I love lost and I love the parodies too! Good stuff dude!

    Reply

  107. Posted by Dretzle on February 22, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    FYI: Eyeliner man doesn’t actually wear eyeliner. His eyes are naturally dark. They actually put makeup on to lighten up his eyes. Saw this in a “behind the scenes” with him.

    Reply

  108. seriously entertaining stuff. cash in and sell ads.

    Reply

  109. Posted by mindspin on February 22, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    “She clearly is lying because if you have terminal cancer you probably shouldn’t be working as a manager at a temp agency. You should be on a remote tropical island.”

    OMG! You have no idea how funny that was!!

    I hope you can go back and read all of this after watching the entire series.. Fxxing Hilarious!

    Keep up the good work!

    Reply

  110. Posted by Patrick on February 23, 2010 at 4:28 am

    FINALLY!!!!! Someone else acknowledges Richard (aka Mayor in Dark Knight) is wearing eyeliner! Whats up with that??? I have been baffled by this for years now and have never heard anyone else mention it, so I figured I was seeing things. Nice job with these, very funny. I just started this year myself which makes it even better.

    Reply

  111. Posted by AlexRosseauWasHot on February 23, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    While I can see how knowing the show would make it more possible to be funnier, I don’t think the author has seen anything prior to season 6.

    He references the flashbacks to Jacob visiting everyone, saying that he took a sabbatical after seeing Sawyer as a boy. But we all know that in the season 5 finale he also went to see Kate as a child. But he seemed completely ignorant to that.

    Whatever, its funny.

    Reply

  112. Posted by MSW on February 23, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    I have watched every episode of lost and you’re explanations are as good as any I’ve come up with … funny shit dude. Can’t wait for the next post!

    Reply

  113. “The Nerd” is exactly what I’ve been thinking of Ben (once, Henry) since he showed up in Season 2 )I think, but can’t remember now). Thanks for taking the scrambled eggs of my mind (responsible: LOST) and giving it some perspective. Genius.

    Reply

  114. Posted by troismommy on February 24, 2010 at 10:26 am

    Some people really have no sense of humor. Come on people. Really? If you don’t like the blog, don’t read it. There’s no need to slam it. There are a ton of us out there who are loving every word! Can’t wait to hear your recap of last night’s episode!!

    Reply

  115. Posted by Kerry on February 24, 2010 at 11:30 am

    I am having a boring day at work and this cheered me up! Seriously laughing so loud my co-workers are staring! You rock!

    Reply

  116. Posted by Derek on February 24, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Believe it or not, these are actually really helpful as recaps. The fresh angle helps me notice things that I may take for granted as a long-time LOST watcher, and they’re not laden with speculation like some of the more famous recap blogs. And they’re funny and well-written to boot. Good job!

    Now where’s last night’s review already?? :p

    Reply

  117. Ready for a summary of last night’s episode!

    Reply

  118. [...] want a funnier or smarter recap of what happened in last week’s episode, I recommend you go here or here or possibly here.  Otherwise, read [...]

    Reply

  119. Posted by Bex on February 25, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    You are amazingly hilarious. I think that, even if you knew what was going on, you would still describe lost in an amazingly funny way. And, I feel like a bit of a fool when I read your stuff, because I am that person that takes LOST very seriously, and make all sorts of connections all over the place. I feel like such a loser when you mention something I found hugely significant and life changing and make a funny comment about it. It’s keeping me sane! Thank-you for what you’re doing, because I mean, if i can;t laugh at the way I am obsessed with this shit, then it’s no fun.

    Reply

  120. Posted by Susan on February 26, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    Thank you for calling out Richard’s guyliner. That has always bugged me. None of the woman on the island appear to be wearing makeup, where does he get his?

    Reply

  121. Posted by Kristi on March 3, 2010 at 10:19 am

    “His boss, who is trying too hard to be Dave Grohl…”- you made me laugh out loud!

    Oh my goodness, your recaps are totally hilarious. Love the Jordan/Hunkenstein (my new favorite Jack nickname) line, and so many more in this recap. You really bring humor to a show that so many of us obsess over waaaaaay too much (including myself). You’re very creative, and you should definitely keep it up!!!

    Reply

  122. Posted by [∞CHÄΩS∞] ZEUS- aka Dean Thorpe on March 5, 2010 at 9:39 am

    so…erm..is the bad day monster really a cloud? im just not sure after reading..?

    Reply

  123. My favourite lines of the blog so far:

    “Hurley tells John to keep his chin up. He’s saying that because Hurley doesn’t have one and wants John to appreciate what he’s got. Also, he is a billionaire and doesn’t understand the concept of sadness.”

    Laugh out loud funny, just the right side of bitter to remain good natured.

    Reply

  124. Posted by kwan on March 7, 2010 at 1:30 am

    She clearly is lying because if you have terminal cancer you probably shouldn’t be working as a manager at a temp agency. You should be on a remote tropical island.

    lol at that!!!! you do have some insights;D

    Reply

  125. Posted by Sad Day Monster on March 9, 2010 at 12:42 am

    “As John is hanging streamers for a pity party, the Manager drops the bomb that she has terminal cancer. Snap. In your face.”

    maximum lols

    Reply

  126. Posted by Why do u need to know, stalker? on March 19, 2010 at 6:19 pm

    WHAT ARE YOU ON?!

    Reply

  127. Posted by Ace on March 23, 2010 at 9:24 am

    It’ll be really interesting for you to read over some of your notes if you decide to go back and watch through the series. You’ll find some of your jokes eerily accurate. In any case keep it up, this is hilarious.

    Reply

  128. Posted by Anon on August 7, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    I don’t know if you still read these, but I called him Captain Eyeliner for awhile before I read an interview that he just has dense eyelashes. I totally had a “people have been on the island since the ancient egyptians’ rein” theory for awhile because of his eyeliner and all the hieroglyphics and egyptian god references.

    Reply

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